Chapter 9: The Real World of the Hills of Baylor Shore of the School for the Arts

So this is chapter nine, and you don't have to read it if you're not ready. But I thought I would post it.

The Real World of the Hills of Baylor Shore of the School for the Arts

It had been a couple weeks since the zombie scare at the school. It was mid October, and the leaves were changing when a group approached the school principal about a deal they wanted to make. The principal agreed to their wants in exchange for a small fortune...

It took a few days for Blue to notice, but the school appeared to be going through some small changes. Namely, there were cameras all over the school. She sometimes stopped to talk to them on the assumption that she was the only one who could see them and they were some sort of alien communication system. It wasn't until a person made her sign a contract and directly explained what was going on that she understood, so she went in for a quick get-to-know-you interview, because she was apparently intriguing.

“So you joined the school a month into the year?” a scary woman with an unnatural looking face asked. Blue stared at her face for a while, trying to decide if her skin might crack or something. So she shivered, which the woman apparently thought fascinating. “Where did you move from?”

“SanFran?” Blue offered, though her focus was still on the woman's overly tight face.

“Is that San Francisco?” the woman questioned. Blue nodded and finally looked into the camera, then realized the woman was on the TV screen too. Wouldn't people be disturbed by seeing her face? It was very concerning...She just continued on, though, “So what is your family life like?”

“I have a mom and a dad,” Blue replied, “...And a sister named Red...And two turtles now.”

Apparently that was all the group needed, because Blue was dismissed. The next day, though, she saw an interesting video of her parents. Apparently they'd been contacted and asked about why they named their children Red and Blue. While Blue wasn't sure what they were saying, Teddy promised to translate it for her (Malik was still being a pissy pants at her).

The screen showed her parents speaking. Her mother led off, “Well...They were born in the nineties. I'm sure we thought the names were genius at the time...”

“Right,” her dad agreed, “and it was the nineties...You know...There were a lot of...things...being passed around. Smoked...”

“Can you arrest people for previous drug use?” her mother questioned. Teddy chuckled to himself and mumbled something about “that explains a lot.”

“You're the lawyer,” her dad replied.

“Well, I guess I remember when Red was born,” her mother recounted, “she had red hair...And I just remember thinking, 'Wowww. I'm the most geniusss person ever.'”

“And then she suggested it to me, and I was like...'Whoa! You're the most genius person ever!'” Blue's dad added.

“So she was named Red...,” her mom continued, “and then when Blue was born...We were sitting around...Thinking...And then...Yellow! It went with Red brilliantly...It was almost too perfect. I asked if Mr. Berkowitz here thought it was too perfect...”

“I said, 'I'm afraid it might be...Maybe we should go with Blue,'” Mr. Berkowitz recounted as Teddy was glad to finally hear Blue's last name aloud. “So we went with Blue because we were afraid of what might happen if we picked Yellow.”

“Why, again...?” Mrs. Berkowitz questioned, and Mr. Berkowitz shrugged.

“I don't know, I was high,” he mumbled.

“...Me too,” Blue's mother admitted. The video ended there, and Blue's parents must have said something funny, because Teddy broke into a fit of laughter and told Blue he wasn't going to explain the situation.

The cameras stuck around for about two more weeks, doing something called a “documentary” or perhaps a reality show. They said it would only run one season, because they didn't know if anything could live up to their first season. Everyone involved received copies of the show, so they all gathered in the auditorium and watched a projection of the video as a school assembly. Or really an entire school day.

The very first scene was of Blue, so the girl grinned, until she realized it had been before she understood what was happening and when she was speaking to one of the cameras, “Well, this is Baylor School For the Arts. I'm not totally sure why you decided to monitor it, but it's pretty cool. I think aliens would really enjoy it, so if you ever want to visit I'm always open minded to new types. Gay, straight, bi...black, white, yellow, brown...Even purple and green and polysexual, like I assume you all are.” She stopped to stare at the camera, looked around as if waiting for something, then mumbled, “You'll get back to me.”

A theme song started playing, but Blue didn't see herself enough in the video accompanying it, so she crossed her arms and pouted until she saw herself again. It was her and Teddy talking and doing a rap they made up (they tried to make up one per week). They didn't know the cameras were on them, or they certainly wouldn't have done it.

“Oh yeah, gimme a beat!” Blue called, and Teddy started making some sort of attempt at beat boxing. Blue started, “Yesterday we saw a deer.” They traded off beat boxing and rapping then.

“It was going poo!” Teddy rapped.

They then spoke in unison, “Poo poo poo poo poo.”

“Every time we see an animal mal mal mal...,” Blue continued.

“It's always going poo poo poo.”

“Is it just us?”

“Or do animals spend all their time going poo?”

They went into a “drum break” then, and both spazzed around and made noises worthy of a “Stomp” concert. As long as that “Stomp” concert was performed by toddlers with ADD. To finish off they stood back to back and said, “What!?”

The screen changed to some stupid people Blue didn't care about then, until she saw an interview segment with Malik in it.

“Why do I only talk to the flaming gay kid and my roommate?” he mumbled, clearly repeating the question he'd been asked. “Well, number one, 'flaming gay kid'? How is that an OK thing to ask?” After he stared at the screen for a moment and clearly received instructions to “just answer the question,” he continued, “Because I'm pissed off! This school isn't all fun and games! Sometimes you get shot in the face!” A voice over then discussed how dramatic the school was, and proceeded to take many things out of context from plays and other such things to make the school look more dramatic.

Blue tuned it out, but the episode was full of it. The next episode started, and it was titled: “A Girl called Blue,” so Blue squealed and wiggled her legs in delight. It started off with the scene of her parents she'd been shown earlier, and then went into her first interview. After that interview was shown, a voice over asked, “So what do her friends think of her?”

The next screen showed Teddy. Teddy was staring at the screen, reminding Blue of that one deer...Bambi...Bambo? No...Rambo. Definitely Rambo. His face reminded Blue of Rambo, and his eyes were wide. He stuttered, “Uh...What...? Huhhh...” For whatever reason, Blue was pretty sure he'd given up on blinking, which didn't make sense to Blue. Then his eye twitched as the question was repeated to him, so maybe his eyes were stuck open, which was really rather worrisome.

Unlike in the interview with Malik, the question was easy to hear, “What's your name?”

“Ca...camera...,” Teddy mumbled, staring into the camera still. The screen switched over to Alec then.

“My name is Alec Potts, I'm Blue's roommate...,” he stopped to listen to a question he was asked. “No, our relationship is very platonic. What do I think of her...?” he mumbled, then began thinking, “She's very unique. Definitely very...rare.”

The next person it showed was Malik, who was huffing at the camera, “She's a brat! Shooting me in my head!” He paused to listen to the question, then looked more angry, “What, now I'm a pissy pants!? Did she tell you that!? She shot me!” He stopped, then looked even angrier, “It's not an overreaction! You're so meannnnn!” He buried his face in his hands and whimpered to himself until the scene changed. The scenes cycled through most of the people Blue knew well, the next being Kip.

“Blue is...,” he mumbled, “did you say her parents were on drugs...? ...Exactly.”

“Blue the Jew is a delightful addition to class,” Miss Allberry stated, “she truly understands many things I'm saying even when some others don't.”

“Blue's fun,” Rashida stated with a shrug, “weird, perhaps, but life is fun around her.”

“She's noisy and weird and she calls me 'Grumpers' now! I don't know when that started, but it's really annoying,” Austin said.

“Blue? Blue is fun. She's very interesting. She's a good kid, but I do sometimes wonder...Oh, drugs you say?” Hammy trailed off, then smiled. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Yes,” Gerda stated, “Blue is someone who brings me much enjoyment. I liked when she shot all those people”

“Blue? Blue is awesome! She does adventures with me!” Hakan declared, grinning.

“Blue...?” Kendall this time. Blue shivered in her seat, “Very...Pretty.”

Finally, Asian Pablo stared at the screen then smiled, “Blue is...Blue. How else can I describe her? Just the other day I was teaching her some new dance moves. It was pretty awesome...Oh, you have that on tape? ...You're not going to show it, are you...? ...Come on now...”

The screen immediately blacked to Blue and Pablo hanging out on the empty auditorium, with background music playing. The song was clearly “Barbie Girl” and both were hopping around excitedly until Blue stepped on Pablo's foot and they tried to stabilize themselves and got back to hopping. After they finished jumping they started looking like they were making out with themselves, and as they finished the song changed and they started singing along. “I wanna take you to a gay bar!” Blue declared, and Pablo gasped. The screen went black, because the next part was apparently “too graphic” to show.

Next it showed Blue talking, “Yeah, well...Once I learned Pablo is bi and not gay I thought maybe I could bag him. Once I started spending more time with him though, I realized he's kinda into Teddy too much to even care that I'm available.”

Teddy was shown staring at the screen again, as a question was asked loudly again. “What do you think about Pablo Martinez?”

The blond stared at the camera for a while, until he mumbled, “Uhhhnnn. Ca...Camera?”

Next it showed Blue sitting in her room furiously scribbling things on a sheet of paper, zoomed in on her, and prompted her to speak, “Well right now I'm writing down my plan for world domination.” She held the paper up, which had a list saying, “1. Find a big jet with lots of bombs and stuff 2. Take over the world by blowing up the bad stuff 3. Rule like awesome” with drawings to accompany each step on the process. She then began a reply to a question she was asked, “If I became the ruler...? What do you mean, 'if'? ...When I become the ruler of the world, my first decree will be to make everybody be cool. My second decree will be to create and/or search for unicorn life. I've been thinking crossing a horse and a rhino might work...But I'm open to other options. Maybe, uh...A horse and an elephant, or a horse and a narwhal...Horse and walrus...” She shrugged and got back to work on her list then, scratching her head to try to decide what came after ruling like awesome.

The scene changed to her and Teddy then, jumping around and laughing at each other. “Ra ra ra! I'm a scary scary thing!” Blue declared, and Teddy broke into a fit of laughter.

“Oh my God,” Teddy replied, “I totally see it!”

“Yeah!” Blue agreed. The camera crew walked over to ask what they were talking about, and Teddy feigned someone calling his name and ran away. “We watched a movie the other day and somebody was totally scary and stuff.” Blue was thoroughly entertained for the rest of the episode because it talked all about her and her awesomeness. The next couple episodes were boring, though she showed up a little bit in them. A few episodes later brought a different sort of feeling.

Teddy and Malik were sitting in the common room area, though by this point the cameras had learned not to let Teddy know they were watching. “Malik,” Teddy mumbled, “this whole Blue thing...Wanna talk?”

Malik sighed, “No...Why would I get so upset anyway? This is Blue we're talking about...Of course she'd do something stupid and not actually mean to hurt my feelings.”

“Right,” Teddy agreed, “she doesn't really get why you're angry, by the way. Try to look at it from her point of view: you were a zombie. If she didn't shoot you you'd live on and do things you would have regretted. She was doing it for you.”

“Yeah,” Malik mumbled. “I guess I see that...but stillll.”

“She did cry, I think,” Teddy informed Malik, “mostly for you.”

Malik sighed again and leaned against Teddy's shoulder, “Sometimes I wish I was gay...You're sane. We could date then...How are things with Steel?”

“Weird,” Teddy replied, “just strange. He's been acting really odd and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it...Malik...”

“Hm? That bad?” Malik replied, as Teddy pointed to the camera watching them. Malik talked to the camera for a good while after that, “What the hell? How is it your business the conversations I have with Teddy?”

One camera person could distinctly be heard saying, “Oh that's his name!”

“You should leave us alone for a while. And don't show this video,” Malik commanded. After a while Malik sat in an interview room and started reluctantly talking, “So Blue and I are actually really close, but she shot me once when she thought there was a zombie outbreak. We've been kind of off since. Teddy, on the other hand, has been my friend since we started elementary school and we don't really fight. And don't call him 'flaming gay kid' because he's really not that feminine anymore, and I think that's offensive. I'm usually pretty sane, by the way, but Blue does things to my brain. It's not a big deal, but you know...stuff is just tough sometimes...Teddy? He's dating a dude called Steel Kilmeistah. Blue thinks he's a secret assassin and I'm starting to think she's right...Can you figure that out for me? I don't want Teddy getting hurt...He's my best friend and all...”

Blue tried not to look at her still best friends on either side of her and focused on the screen instead. The screen continued on to a scene with Teddy running to hug his evil boyfriend, leaving Malik standing by himself in a field of grass. Blue ran up behind him, grinning, and clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey Malik!”

“Hey Blue!” Malik said in a voice perfectly imitating Blue's. The scene switched yet again to an interview segment.

“Yeah,” Malik explained, “Blue and I are buds again. I was being immature. Teddy says I had menarche, which he says is a disease...” Malik paused and listened to what someone was saying, “What? ...A girl's first period!? Teddy! That bitch!”

The screen switched back to Blue and Malik, who started a game of paddy-cake on the grass. The next segment was an interview with Blue. “Yeah. Malik stopped being stupid, so we can be pals again like we're supposed to be. I'm glad...I missed him.”

After that the show didn't feature them as much, though it did seem to make a game out of getting Teddy to talk to the cameras, just once. They finally managed to trick him into it by putting something in front of the screen to distract from the camera.

“I'm from the Midwest,” Teddy stated. Blue hadn't actually heard this part, so she listened closely, “Malik too. We grew up together...I guess I've always known I was gay...Yes, my first crush was on Malik. God, let's not talk about that. We're through that...I haven't always known I was a genius...I was diagnosed when I was in third grade...I was so embarrassed...Ashamed. I didn't want to tell anyone about it, but I knew I was living a lie so I slowly told the people I knew...Ummm. Anything else?” Teddy listened to a now inaudible voice, then replied, “Yes! I can technically graduate whenever I want. I'm exempted from every single subject. I tested out of them all...Do I know Alec Potts' deal? Of course I do. But if I told you I'd have to kill you...No, I'm not joking. Anything else you want to know? Oh, I guess I met Steel about six months ago. We've been dating for four months. He's not a big talker, but I like his muscles...How did we meet? Uhhh. I guess he sorta intently came over to me at the mall once...He moved all the way out here with me...It is a little weird, I guess...NO! He's not an assassin. That's just stupid.” At this point the thing covering the camera slipped and Teddy's eyes widened. “You tricked me!” he declared, tears filling his eyes, and ran away.

The final part Blue cared about at all was when they showed her list of plans to rule the world. An added four was at the bottom: “Give Teddy and Malik stuff to rule too. But small things. Like they can have a couple rocks.” The rest of the show was incredibly dull with all this dramatic stuff that Blue thought was incredibly boring and stupid. Once the show came to an end, Blue grinned to her best friends. Since they were all pals again she was happy, and they all walked back to Malik's room to hang out like they always did and everything was right in the world.