Thursday, April 25, 2013

Life Lessons: Sticky Things and Tables

Today I thought I would regale you with tales of very interesting-interestingness. It's time for: Life Lessons (with Taylor)!

I am moving back home for the summer in about a week and a half. As such, I have been getting my stuff ready to move home and taking some stuff with me, etc. Yesterday I decided I should take my pictures down off the wall in preparation to be taken home today. I'm pretty eager to move home and generally fidgety about it, so that is why I decided they needed to go now. Unfortunately, removing them from the wall was not as easy as I'd hoped. I vaguely recall being warned (perhaps by Amy?) that the sticky items I was using to append my pictures to the wall would not, in fact, come off as easily as advertised. Despite the warning I received, I continued on in my rashness in putting the pictures up, convinced that surely if something was going to go wrong with these sticky things it would not happen to me.

This confidence in mind, I pulled on the sides of my first framed picture, and realized with alarm what was happening only after I removed it from the wall. I guess the wall was simply too attached to my pictures (haha, pun) so it decided to come with it. So now there are these horrible patches of wall where the top layer of paint has been ripped off and I get to fix that before I can move out. The patches created by the smaller painting are the largest offender, possibly because I was aware of their possibility at this point and trying not to create them. I do not think those sticky things I used to attach the pictures to the wall are worth it. They're just too strong. I'll probably add them to my list of nemesises. Nemesi? Nemesisi? Spellcheck doesn't like any of those, so I'm sticking with nemesises. Which really doesn't sound good at all. Nemesis is perhaps impossible to pluralize.
Damage from large picture

Damage from small picture

Lesson: Do not use those square sticky things. They are too strong.

My next life lesson is another interesting and not at all boring story. I was at work this past Tuesday, and one of the tasks I needed to do was set up two tables in the auditorium lobby. After achieving all I could in the auditorium without calling my boss and admitting that, although I claimed I could handle set up on my own, I was going to need help, I decided to go ahead and set up the two tables I needed to in the lobby. Then it would look less like I spent five to ten minutes trying to figure out whether there were any tables backstage. I set out to achieve my goal, knowing where tables are kept in the lobby. I went over to the tables and the realization that they were, in fact, quite large and heavy dawned on me. But, being the intrepid worker I was, I started dragging them across the floor anyway. Once I had situated them in the relative areas I expected them to be wanted, I began to set them up. I pulled all the legs of the first table out, and then the hard part of actually standing the table up came (note: this is much harder than it looks, tables are weirdly slippery).

I placed my foot underneath the table to get some leverage to help me grab it, and carelessly left it underneath the table. What happened next was utterly disastrous. The table was about as long as my arms are width wise, and it slipped from my grip as I tried to pull it to standing position and landed on my foot. I did not outwardly express my pain, but it hurt. A lot. I finished setting up the tables (very carefully) and half limped my way backstage to call my boss and request help with light focus (this means aiming lights to the best place for them on stage). My boss figured out what we needed to do with the lights while I finished setting up the sound and pretended my foot was fine.

The people using the auditorium arrived and my boss sent me up into the catwalk to move the lights around. It turns out, climbing ladders on a hurt foot is very painful. I considered that I may have broken my big toe because it really hurt, but I'm a pro at not breaking bones, so I decided against that. I spent the rest of the night half-limping when I had to walk (I was sitting for a while while two women gave a presentation), convinced my foot/big toe must look impressively injured. When I got home and took off my socks and shoes to inspect the damage, my foot looked mostly unharmed but slightly red. By the next day it looked just like any other non-injured day. I was pretty disappointed in how my injury chose to present itself. In fact, now if I want to show someone how I hurt myself, they'll just look at my foot probably and say, "I don't see anything." And I will be sad, because my foot still hurts but you can't tell at all by looking.

My foot looking totally uninjured (circle around where the at least bruise should be)
Lesson: If you're setting up tables, you should probably just ask your boss to help you. If you're too prideful to do so, do not put your foot under where the table might fall should you drop it. If you so choose to ignore my first two warnings, at least make sure your foot has the common decency to display the injury it received so others may comment on it and offer condolences such as "Ow, I bet that hurt," and, "Your foot must hurt," and, "You should be more careful with tables."
Bonus: My cat (Misha) decided he needed to grab my foot with his feet while I took a picture of it

Monday, April 22, 2013

Super Hearing Powers

It is my belief that as soon as I close my eyes to go to sleep I gain super hearing. Basically, I'm like Daredevil, except I didn't have to get blind first (is referencing Daredevil nerdy? I don't think so). Once I got on that thought, I decided I clearly therefore had the capacity to be an excellent superhero. I could go to the scene of a crime, lay down to take a nap, and hear everything! Fool proof. I would be right up there with the super hero who has x-ray vision as his/her only power.

(If I could draw this is where a picture of our super hero gang would go)

So the two of us, me (Super Sleep-Time Hearer) and x-ray superhero (Cancer Man?),  will travel around as the most efficient crime fighters ever! I'll hear the bad guys super hard, and x-ray superhero will give them cancer. Good plan? Yeah, definitely a crime deterrent. Naturally, x-ray superhero would be my sidekick. Maybe we could be joined by some other superheroes and form some sort of league for justice. I'm not sure of the details of the other superheroes right now, but I'm sure we'll be awesome at stopping crime.

This post would be at least ten times more awesome if I could just illustrate it. Maybe after finals are over I'll consider illustrating the adventures of Super Sleep-Time Hearer and Cancer Man. Anyway, what was the point of this post? Oh yeah, so I hear ridiculously well when I'm trying to sleep. I can feel my sanity fading as noises I hear continue and show no signs of stopping. Basically, I'd probably be pretty easy to drive completely insane in a matter of days if I was trying to sleep and stupid noises would never ever stop...That's probably Super Sleep-Time Hearer's kryptonite--insomnia caused by too many noises at night. Cancer Man's kryptonite is that he gives people cancer, so...He feels kind of bad about that.

This post brought to you by: the fact that I often can't fall asleep because of all the stupid noises I miraculously hear! They're like, right on the edge of audible too, which somehow makes it so much worse.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

My Intentions

When I have to write essays I always begin with an outline. Even during class if I'm taking a Blue Book exam. Everything works out better when I have an idea of what I'm trying to say. What am I getting at here? I'm getting at the fact that I intend to state, right here, what I want to do with this blog. I have a few tags that I've used, and that's what I'll basically use as guidelines.

I understand not many people will probably be reading this. For that reason, I can feel free to express my own brand of weirdness however I feel like. These sorts of posts shall henceforth reside under the tag #Weird Waffles (Disclaimer: this tag has nothing to do with waffles).

I will continue to update the story that I have been writing from time to time. The story related tags are pretty self explanatory. All will be tagged with #Story Stuff. Updates will be sporadic based upon whether or not I can engage my brain enough to write story things.

Part of my nature is very concerned will actual happenstances in the world and serious issues the world face. Expect posts on any topic I want to discuss on that day in particular, including anything I might want to simply share my thoughts about and offer the perspective of someone who is admittedly very strange. Look for these sorts of posts under the tags: #Current Cares, #Peaceful Politics, and occasionally #Terrible Things.  I would note that most of what I say in these situation will be entirely opinion based, and I'm probably very open to broadening my knowledge base on the topic.

I love music and love sharing music with others because I honestly don't know how I would deal with stress without it. If I ever discuss music, look for it under the tag #Lyrical Lines.

Finally, if I ever want to discuss something marginally personal (since I have a thing about getting too personal, marginal is all I want to go for) I will use the tag #Feeling Feelings. This will be related to my thoughts about life or the world if I ever feel myself to compelled to post them.

As I see what sorts of ideas I have I may create more tags, then come back to this post to update them. I love but don't expect much in terms of input (comments). I intend for this blog to be a fun place to express ideas where other people can add their thoughts and ideas as well at their own purview.

Thank you for your time. I am old enough to understand that I'm still very young, so I'm sure my opinions will change and be shaped over time, but I hope this will provide an outlet for the constant racing thoughts about anything and everything in my mind. Expect sporadic updates at best, but please stick around for more if you enjoy what I'm saying. :)

Update: #Life Lessons tag has been added. It will be me telling stories of things that happen to me and what I learned from them. Expect most of them to be random/silly. Not necessarily funny, but I'll try sometimes.

Also, #Important Information is for tags like this one. Administrative stuff, I guess?

Monday, April 15, 2013

Pencil Toppers

Today I took a nap. As I was falling asleep, I became suddenly enraged about the existence of pencil toppers. Why? I don't know, I'm on sleepy brain. I haven't been sleeping well lately. In any case, as I was falling asleep, I started thinking about these things. I guess I should specify I was thinking about pencil toppers that are erasers. Anyway, I got really mad that they make really cool eraser pencil toppers. Because it's not like I'm going to use that to erase. Do I want to disintegrate the face of something I love? No.
Do I want to use these things to erase and watch as they fade into sad half-dead things?
Picture from http://www.made-in-china.com/showroom/howell88/offer-detailHoemGhpuaRWB/Sell-Pencil-Topper-Eraser.html 

So then I came up with the pencil toppers/erasers of things you hate idea! For a while you have to sit there, looking at the thing you hate when you first buy it, but then, as soon as you need to erase something, gratification! The spider's butt is clean gone! Haha! Success! You get to act on your passive aggressive hatred of things, and no cute puppy's face gets erased (unless you hate puppies, but that's really just sad). A win win. So...Yeah. That's my idea.

(Disclaimer: I don't hate spiders, I just figured that was an inoffensive example that many people do, in fact, hate. I do not like spiders particularly, but I appreciate them for the work they do.)

This post brought to you by: tired brain! I should probably stop thinking when I'm taking naps!