So.

I get really worried when I realize that people (aka family members of mine) have read/can read this. So...That's part of why I deleted it before. The other part is something that still concerns me, and is a bit more pressing at the moment than my family reading this. I stopped posting links to this place on facebook though, so that should hopefully cut down on my random family members reading this. So if you're family reading this subtly and not commenting, please don't judge me, OK? I'm not ashamed of who I am, but I do get ashamed of the things I do sometimes. If that makes sense. Like, I like to learn from my stupidity and I hope people forgive my blunders, you know? I try not to prejudge, but I'm slowly becoming cynical even though I'm trying not to. So sorry for anything I've done that's stupid.

Other than that little statement, I wanted to share this new song. Firework by Katy Perry. I'm not into popular music generally, but I'm not going to ignore a good song just because it's popular. I legitimately don't enjoy a majority of popular music (mostly because of shoddy lyrics) but this song is absolutely lovely. To get the full feeling of it you should watch the video too. :)

Firework by Katy Perry

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon"

Firework ~ Katy Perry

Chapter 10: Cleaning and Death

I wrote a new chapter. I'm not sure I like it very much. I think I ran out of happy a little bit...I don't find it be that funny. I kind of finished it quickly-ish. You know...I'm not sure. But it's a bit of a lead in to the next chapter in a way I don't think many of the other chapters have been. So...Read it, I guess...?

Cleaning and Death

“So, class...How's it going?” Hammy asked, lounging across his desk.

“Everyone else is gone,” Malik stated, glancing between himself, Blue and Teddy. For whatever reason Hispanesbian was also in the room, which was weird.

“Yeah,” Hammy agreed, then sat silently.

Blue stared at Hammy and tried to figure out what he was doing, “Are you selling us into slavery because we're all so attractive?”

“Uh...Only sort of,” Hammy replied. Blue gasped and began fleeing from the room.

“Runnnnn!” she declared to the rest of the group. Unfortunately Miss Allberry walked into the room as she tried to leave and turned her around.

“Did you tell them yet?” she asked. Hammy shook his head. “I'll do it!” Miss Allberry cheered. She then turned to the group, “How would the four of you like to make a sound investment in your futures?”

“Are you selling us a timeshare?” Hispanesbian asked.

“Nooo,” Miss Allberry replied. “Now I forgot what I was talking about...”

Hammy picked up where Miss Allberry left off, “So here's the deal. Today and I live together, right? And Reg lives there too. So, Reg's parents are coming for a visit from England...But we're not so great at keeping the place clean. So we thought we'd ask if you guys would like to help us clean. We'll owe you.”

“Will you pay us?” Hispanesbian countered.

“Uh...We'll pay you in love?” Hammy replied.

“We're teachers,” Miss Allberry replied. “We don't have a lot of money.”

“We're not just going to work for free,” Hispanesbian said. There was a sharp pause that made it clear that the pair of teachers weren't about to offer any money.

“...What about you three?” Hammy asked Blue, Malik, and Teddy.

“You know I'm going to say this isn't really something you're supposed to be doing,” Teddy said. “But I'll help. Since we're gay bros.”

“Awesome,” Hammy said, then turned to Blue and Malik.

“I don't mind,” Malik mumbled. “But you'll have to find some way of payment.”

“I've never cleaned before,” Blue declared. “It'll be like an adventure!”

“Not so much,” Hispanesbian replied, “and I'll do it too. I just want something for my work.”

“Hooray!” Miss Allberry declared. “So tonight?”

“What?” Teddy replied. “I'm pretty booked solid tonight. Sitting and such.”

“But they're coming tomorrow! They have to like meeeee,” Hammy said.

“Why?” Blue asked.

“Because I love Reg and I want his parents to approve of our relationship?” Hammy replied, surprised Blue would ask.

“...Cleaning in the name of love?” Blue asked, then glared at Teddy. “The name of LOVE, Teddy! You're a disappointment to your father's father's great uncle's cousin's mother's father.”

“That's probably true,” Teddy shrugged.

“Why me, by the way?” Hispanesbian asked as Miss Allberry and Hammy led the group out of Hammy's classroom. “I mean, these three are like the three stooges, but me?”

“You look like you have strong arms,” Hammy replied. Hispanesbian blinked, then fell into step beside Blue.

“By the way,” she stated to Blue, “I do have a name. It's not 'Hispanesbian' though I am a Hispanic lesbian. My name is Estela.”

“Stella?” Blue repeated back.

“Estela.”

“All right,” Blue replied. “Stella.”

Estela tried to repeat her name to Blue again, but Blue had tuned her out. Estela was a bit afraid she'd always be “Stella” to Blue, but she decided she didn't really care.

“Teddy, Teddy!” Blue called, catching up to Teddy. “Guess what I learned.”

“What?” Teddy asked casually, tilting his head to the side.

“Hispanesbian's name is Stella!” Blue shouted.

“Estela,” Teddy corrected, but Blue had already run off to tell Malik.

“Malik, Malik!” she called. Malik turned to look at her as she interrupted some sort of conversation he was having with Hammy and Miss Allberry, then turned back to continue that conversation.

“Yeah, the first time I read your name I though it was 'milk,'” Miss Allberry said as Blue swooped over.

“Well my parents wanted to make sure everyone knows I'm not white, I guess,” Malik explained as Blue slapped at his shoulder to get his attention.

“Malik Malik!!!” Blue screeched, causing Malik to finally look at her and keep his attention on her.

“Yeah Blue?” he asked, and Blue grinned.

“Hispanebian's name is Stella!” she cheered, and Malik smiled. Smiled in this way that even Blue, dense as she was, noticed wasn't quite the same as how he smiled at other people.

“You mean Estela,” he stated, and Blue nodded.

“Yeah, Stella,” she said. Her cheeks felt hot then, and she didn't know why...

“Sure,” Malik replied, “that's fine. She's been in class with us for a while now. You know Hammy takes attendance every day, right?” Blue appeared to not be listening again, clearly searching for a new person to tell her new found information to. She went ahead and walked over to Estela.

“Hey, I learned your name Hispanesbian,” she informed Estela.

“Yes,” Estela agreed, “or for the most part, you did.” Blue nodded and smiled.

“It's Stella,” she stated, as Estela smiled and laughed.

“Wow,” she stated, “I thought you acted like this during improv for laughs. You're pretty entertaining there, Miss Color Name. Your parents were on drugs when you were born, though, that does explain a lot. Have you ever taken an IQ test?”

Blue nodded eagerly, “Yeah. My favorite is chocolate, but also I like all the others flavors.”

“Oh really?” Estela laughed as Teddy fell behind to walk next to them. Estela turned to him with a smile then, and asked, “Say, you're a genius, right?” Teddy nodded and blinked at Estela, curious as to where she was going with her question, “Why?” she asked asked simply, pointing at Blue.

“Why are we friends? Why is she the way she is?” Teddy replied, “Well. How can you resist such charm?” he asked, as Blue ran off to tell Miss Allberry Estela's name. “And parents shouldn't do drugs when their babies are little or before they're born. But I can hardly get mad at them for it. I mean, can you imagine her being normal?” Estela shrugged.

“No,” she replied, “I suppose not. So how's life for you, Teddy?”

“Interesting choice of question,” Teddy replied. “Life is treating me as well as anyone else, I suppose. And how's life for you, Estela?”

“Good,” Estela smiled. They kept walking, making idle, adult-like chit-chat the way only they seemed able to at the moment, until Blue ran back to them.

“Is Malik sick?” she asked suddenly, and Teddy and Estela glanced at each other. Estela seemed to understand the situation of Malik and Blue, but she couldn't hold down a light chuckle.

“No,” she said.

“He's not sick,” Teddy stated, “maybe you'll understand someday...If you're more mature...”

“He's got the hemorrhoids?” Blue gasped.

“Whoa what?” Teddy asked, as Estela burst out laughing.

“I'm sorry to hear that Malik!” she called out, running away from Teddy and Estela to console Malik.

“Where did she get hemorrhoids?” Estela laughed, as they finally reached the cars of Miss Allberry and Hammy. Blue and Malik got into the car with Miss Allberry, leaving Hammy with Estela and Teddy, who happily obliged to riding with their more sane teacher. They rode the short (relatively, of course) drive to Hammy, Miss Allberry, and Reg's apartment talking to each other casually again.

“So Malik,” Estela said, “he has a thing for Blue, yeah?” Teddy nodded. “That's hilarious. How does he feel about that?”

“It's kind of weird,” Teddy shrugged, “he seems, like...resigned to it. But he definitely likes her. He can't work his way out of it.”

“He's pretty normal, right?” Estela asked, and Teddy nodded.

“Basically,” Teddy replied. They continued on in their conversation, Hammy chiming in eventually. They stopped and bonded over their shared homosexuality (“Everyone in this car is gay!”) for a while, before they all fell silent as they watched Miss Allberry run a red light. A lot of cheering (“Oh my God you really did it you're awesome Miss Allberry!” “You know it! Whoooo!”) came from the car, followed by a desperate shout from Malik (“We could have died! You're crazy!”) through the open sun roof. Hammy laughed off his house mate's crazy behavior, as they all started to worry about Miss Allberry and Blue being together in a car with a sane boy who was too enamored to stand up for sanity.

Soon they were at the apartment, where they were all slightly disappointed to find Reg was not home. Teddy explained that he actually had a day job, so he didn't come home until at least five. Blue whined that it was a British Conspiracy, but everyone ignored her as they evaluated the state the apartment was in.

“What happened?” Malik asked softly. “Burglars?”

Hammy and Miss Allberry just stood in silence for a while as Malik reflected on their desks at school. Neither seemed to have any semblance of order, so this probably made sense. They literally had to walk on things to get through the rooms. According to Miss Allberry and Teddy there were three rooms, including Teddy and Reg's, Miss Allberry's, and the kitchen. They would all help with the living room after they ate dinner. The bathroom didn't need to be cleaned, though it might be a good idea if they had time. They decided to pair off, and Miss Allberry and Hammy insisted they should clean their own rooms. Teddy offered to help Hammy, and Estela quickly jumped on the chance to help Miss Allberry and leave Malik and Blue alone.

“You know this isn't a good idea,” Malik stated, but everyone ignored him as they ran off to their places to clean.

Teddy stared at Hammy and Reg's room, then laughed at a picture by the bed. Hammy questioned his laughter, and Teddy smiled, “You two are awesome together.” He motioned the picture, which showed Hammy and Reg dressed as Burt and Ernie, managing to kiss and look at the camera at the same time.

“Thanks,” Hammy laughed. “And you know Burt and Ernie are on the down low.”

“Yeah,” Teddy agreed softly, as he picked up a pile of clothes. “Before we start...I have to ask something...” Hammy tilted his head as he waited for Teddy's question, “I'm not going to find anything, uh...inappropriate?”

Hammy laughed and grinned at Teddy, “I can't guarantee that.” Teddy stared at him as if mildly shocked and disgusted, then Hammy winked at him. Teddy sighed and continued cleaning, wary of anything and everything that looked even mildly inappropriate.

A bathroom separated their room from Miss Allberry's, where things were going in a different manor. Estela spoke slowly, “Can I toss this used tissue?”

“NO!” Miss Allberry shrieked. “That goes in my used tissue box.” Estela stared at her for a moment as she set it in the box.

“Why do you think you need those?” she asked calmly, with a certain degree of patience even Teddy wouldn't have been able to muster.

“For the apocalypse. The Mayans predicted it,” Miss Allberry stated, “it's coming fast. I'll need those tissues for something then...I just know it...”

Estela laughed, “Whatever you say...What were your parents like?”

Miss Allberry smiled, “They were hippies.” She grinned to herself. “Late bloomers, though, cause I was born in the late eighties...” Estela smiled and continued helping Miss Allberry sort her useless stuff into boxes for use during the apocalypse.

Malik and Blue sat on the kitchen floor playing paddy cake, until Malik managed to pull himself away from the meaningless game. “OK,” he stated, “so let's take care of these dishes first.”

“They go in the dishwasher,” Blue declared with a smile. Malik nodded as he began collecting up the dishes strewn throughout the entire kitchen carelessly. He handed them to Blue, who offered to put them into the dishwasher. Once they rounded up all of the dishes Malik went to look over Blue's work.

“Shiz, Blue!” Malik gasped. “You don't just pile them in! There are slots for them to go in!” Malik and Blue then took all the dishes back out of the dishwasher, and Malik arranged them so they actually fit. He shut the dishwasher and sighed as he looked around the still filthy kitchen.

Every team cleaned for a couple hours, until Reg came home and shrieked something along the lines of, “There are strange teenage cleaning burglars taking away the dirty! I'm scared!” Hammy stopped cleaning to calm him down, and Teddy finished up cleaning their room in that time. Estela and Miss Allberry finished in due time as well, and they helped Blue and Malik finish with the kitchen. After Reg cooked something he called “food” and everyone scarfed it down politely, Hammy even managing a compliment.

“It tastes...Better,” he stated, and Reg grinned. After they finished eating they began working on cleaning up the living room, and Blue stared at a couple pictures on the wall as everyone else cleaned.

“When did you meet?” Blue asked as she stared at the pictures. “And what is wrong with you in this picture, Hammy?”

As the rest of the group cleaned, Hammy replied, “Well...Where to begin? I met Today when we were what, seven?” Miss Allberry nodded as she filed an empty pizza box into the correct place. “You remember me saying I grew up in Amish country...?” He didn't actually look for any acknowledgment as he continued, “It's more like I...Grew up...Amish...” He mumbled.

“Oh,” Blue gasped, “that's why you're dressed crazy.” Everyone stopped to look at the picture of a young looking Hammy and Miss Allberry. Hammy wore what looked like homemade clothes with suspenders, and stared at the camera in a way that reminded everyone of old time pictures, while Miss Allberry was wearing overalls over a flowery shirt. She was barefoot, and had clearly been walking through some serious mud.

“Seriously, though?” Teddy echoed. “Amish!”

“Yeah,” Hammy mumbled, “this is the only picture of me from that age...You can thank this chick that I'm even here at all...” Everyone sat on the couch for apparent story time, so Hammy went on. “So, uh...Today sneaked over to where we Amish people lived. I hadn't ever met someone quite like her...We were fast friends, and nothing has really been the same since. When I had rumspringa I left and I just...Didn't come back to the Amish community.”

“But that means...,” Teddy mumbled, “you're shunned from the community, right?”

“Yeah,” Hammy mumbled, and even Blue could sense a bit of sadness in his voice, “I might as well be an orphan with no siblings.”

“Do you have siblings, then...?” Teddy asked slowly, and Hammy nodded with a sad smile.

“A few of them,” he stated with a sigh. “Amish, you know. God said 'Be as the rabbits are and make lots of babies.'”

“How old?” Teddy asked, since no one else seemed to have comprehended that Hammy grew up Amish. From what Blue knew of the Amishes, Hammy wouldn't have fit in anyway. A gay vegetarian...Definitely wouldn't fit into the Amish world.

“I guess my little sisters would be...Twenty, eighteen and fifteen...My little brother would be sixteen. My older brothers are, uh...Older. There are three of them and I actually can't...remember,” Hammy replied with a shrug. “Umm...If I'm twenty three...I really don't know...They're some age.”

“So I have to ask,” Teddy mumbled, “since the whole concept of being Amish is based on religion...what are your religious beliefs?”

“...I guess I believe in...Something?” Hammy replied. “Someone, something, someones or somethings...Whatever, you know. But I thank whatever that is for introducing me to this young woman here.” He motioned Miss Allberry, who grinned at him.

“Oh,” Teddy replied, with a smile, “I can respect that.”

“...You?” Hammy mumbled in reply, and Teddy shrugged.

“I'm an atheist,” he said plainly. “You know. Give it to my man Stephen Hawking.”

“Wow, now everyone is uncomfortable,” Malik declared. “I mean...Now I'm uncomfortable.”

“Though religion may be important to some,” Estela stated, “and a nuisance to others...It's certainly a point of contention for most. Let's not talk about it too in depth.” The girl smiled casually at everyone, while they managed smiles in reply.

“You make a valid point, miss Hispanic lesbian,” Teddy replied, as he went back to cleaning up the house. “Let's stop this discussion in case of any repercussions.”

Everyone nodded and got back to work, save Blue. “What about this one?” she asked, pointing at the picture next to the one of Hammy and Miss Allberry. It showed all three of the occupants of the apartment, looking like they all hated each other completely.

“Oh,” Reg mumbled, staring at the picture. “See, I met these two at a party...When they were having a fight. They were fighting over the last cup of pudding and flung it onto me. They both refused to apologize, then a mutual friend of the three of us introduced all of us to each other. She claimed we'd all love each other eventually, but we didn't believe her...I guess she was right.”

“She was, wasn't she?” Hammy mumbled bitterly.

“...Bitch,” Miss Allberry muttered to finish off the group.

“Whoa,” Teddy gasped, “language!”

Miss Allberry stared at him for a moment before declaring, “I'm going to slap you.”

“Noooo!” Teddy whined. “Child abuse. I'mma tell my momma.”

“You're a bitch too,” Miss Allberry declared, then folded her arms and kicked at the air in front of her.

“Ouch,” Teddy replied. “I do recall being called that by someone else in this room as well...” he mumbled, looking at Malik.

“Oh yeah,” Malik mumbled, reflecting on their reality show, “well...I stand by that. You told me I got my first period. Sometimes I wish you didn't have such a ridiculous store of random knowledge in your brain...”

“Yeah,” Teddy replied, “me too. Anyway, this whole Amish thing. Is that why you're absolutely terrible with computers?”

Hammy's eyes widened as he simply stated, “Witchcraft.”

“Oh,” Teddy replied, “what about cars?”

“...Witchcraft,” Hammy agreed with himself again. “Definitely witchcraft.”

“Well, you're pretty good at not letting on with those things,” Teddy commended.

“He didn't used to be,” Miss Allberry mumbled, before flopping onto the couch. Apparently she'd been struck with a sudden fit of narcolepsy.

“He cried the first time he used a computer apparently,” Reg stated with a grin. Hammy gave him a playful punch to the arm, causing a flirty moment to happen between the two. In a flash Teddy noticed Malik glance at Blue, Blue fidget with her fingers, and Estela look momentarily unhappy. While Reg and Hammy shared their little moment, Teddy urged Estela, Blue, and Malik to continue cleaning.

As Blue and Teddy (always manly) lifted up the couch so the others could clean underneath it, Blue shrieked and dropped her end of the couch. Although Reg managed to catch the couch with his back and a groan, everyone turned their attention to Blue.

“I'm dyingggg!” she shouted, jumping onto the couch (and the still sleeping Miss Allberry). Teddy gasped, but continued holding up his end of the couch. Reg sighed and worked his way out from under the couch, and Teddy couldn't stop himself from admiring the Brit's muscles. Even though Reg wasn't willing to wrestle largely obese women at laundromats on behalf of his boyfriend's students, he was well-built for certain. Not quite as well-built as Steel Kilmeistah, of course, but Teddy's boyfriend was just plain muscular...Blue interrupted Teddy's stream of thoughts, “Guys! My brain is leaking water!” Reg and Teddy set the couch down as everyone surrounded Blue.

“That's called sweat,” Estela cooed to Blue, and Blue screamed.

“It's a known disease!?” she shrieked, running away from everyone toward the bathroom.

“No it's totally normal,” Estela stated, “everyone sweats.”

“I'm dead!” Blue cried as she lay herself on the floor and covered her face. “My brain leaked all of its water out...Without his water Brainy will die...And soon I will follow.”

“You think brains are made of water?” Hammy asked.

“Your brain is named Brainy?” Malik asked.

“Your brain is male?” Teddy asked. Blue moaned and told them to go on without her, so they did. They made her promise to come home with them if she was still alive when they finished cleaning and believe them that her brain was perfectly fine.

Reg took the opportunity to sit on Miss Allberry while everyone else abandoned Blue on the bathroom floor. Hammy jumped onto Reg and nuzzled the Brit's neck, and the both of them then rolled onto the floor, somehow managing not to wake Miss Allberry up. The others watched in what they pretended not to be jealousy as Hammy and Reg realized they were in a room full of high schoolers and ceased what they were doing. The students continued cleaning as Reg and Hammy started drawing things on Miss Allberry's face and giggling like they were ten-year-olds making a prank call.

At some point late in the evening, they finally finished cleaning, and Hammy offered to drive them all home if they were willing to squish into his car, since Miss Allberry had yet to wake up. Estela sat in the passenger seat, and Malik, Teddy, and Blue sat in the back. Everyone was strangely silent as Hammy promised some soft of reward for helping them clean.

“You can have some compensation once I figure out what to give you,” Hammy promised.

“Thanks,” Estela mumbled softly.

They got back to the school then, and Hammy spoke to them as they pulled into the parking lot, “Sorry...You all seem...unhappy...did I do something...?

“No,” Teddy replied with a charismatic smile. “You and Reg put me off a little, honestly.”

“...Wow,” Hammy replied. “That hurts a bit...”

“No! Because you're so...happy. My boyfriend and I hardly even talk,” Teddy mumbled. “I think it's the same with these guys...”

“I'm just lonely,” Estela admitted, “but it's inconsequential. Congrats on being happy.”

“I just...have...feelings...,” Malik mumbled.

“I think something's wrong with me,” Blue offered. “And not just my brain leaking...”

“See?” Teddy said with a smile. “It's nothing personal. You and your boyfriend actually seem...Perfect for each other. Maybe we're just jealous teenagers.”

“Well,” Hammy mumbled, “you'll be happy someday. I promise.”

“Thanks for that reassurance,” Teddy said, as the students piled out of the car. “Go get those sort of in-laws! Good luck!”

“Thanks,” Hammy replied with a wave.

The group walked back to their rooms together, waving goodbye to Estela a few rooms down the hall from their own cluster. They all stopped near the doors to their rooms and glanced at each other.

“My brain is OK,” Blue informed her best friends, “don't worry...Guys...” Teddy and Malik blinked at Blue as she spoke, “Let's have a sleepover!”

The guys smiled at each other, then at Blue, and Malik took the time to speak. “You two should have one. I'm no good for sleepovers.”

Blue looked disappointed as Teddy spoke, “Let's do it tomorrow. Tomorrow's Friday, and we can tell our roommates in advance, OK?”

“Yay! Good night!” Blue cheered, waving goodbye to her friends. Teddy looked over to Malik and smiled.

“There's hope for you yet, young Jedi,” he stated. “Now go to bed. Cleaning apparently makes people extremely tired. I'm beat. Good night.”

“Night Teddy,” Malik replied, as both walked into their doors and shut them for the night.

So I have a question. Do you like having more serious moments in the story or should I keep those to a minimummm?

Today today.

Well, yesterday I took a nap and when I woke up I was officially sick. So that's that, I guess. I'm sick. So I stayed home from school today, which wasn't very exciting. Also my mom is currently in/on her way to Chicago, so she's not around to do everything for me in my being sick time...Sigh. It's all right, I guess. (I do not live with my dad, nor do I see him on more than a weekly basis very often, mmmkay?) Anyway. I'm feeling particularly sore throaty and sniffly and weak today, and I'm not exactly sure what to talk about. I sneeze a lot, too...My temperature has been hanging out between 96.8 and 97.5. I'm not really sure what that means, but it sounds to me like a reverse fever. Since my temperature is normally extremely average (98.6).

It's been a while since I wrote an update for my story, but I just haven't...been in the mood? You kind of have to be in a certain mood to write it. So I've worked on it some, but not a ton. I'm actually working on it right now.

In other news, though sometimes I don't think it will, life goes on. At an alarming pace. The play is over now, which means it's time for speech to start. And I adore speech, I really do. But being a senior is sad. I'm going to miss people more than I probably realize now, I'm sure, and though I'm excited about college I'm also terrified, you know? I'm not sure I really want to go as far away from home as I want to, but it's an exciting thought. I guess I'll just see where life takes me to.

Glee has been awesome lately. Sad, but awesome. I may be partly in love with Chris Colfer. That boy is such a great actor. Absolutely amazing. <3 I mean, sure he's gay...But my love for him is straight girl to gay guy love. Not romantic, but hardly platonic. ;) When I read things about him when he's not on Glee he seems like an awesome guy too, so... <3 Chris Colfer. Glee's on tonight, so that kind of makes me feel better. But hardly cures my cold.

Other good parts of my week include other good shows. Next week is Thanksgiving, which means no college classes and only three days of high school classes. So hooray to that. :) Um...I'm out of things to say. Breathing feels weird. Peace out.

Shame

When you follow blindly, you can't see the detrimental harm you're causing those trying to help correct you on your path. Someone ought to have said that at some point. I'm ashamed to be an Iowan tonight. I'm ashamed to be an American tonight. I'm ashamed to live in a country that is so ignorant and easily manipulated. What happened tonight is in contempt to the American government system. To vote out three Supreme Court Justices for DOING THEIR JOBS is absolutely and positively incorrigible. Incorrigible means hopelessly bad. And the fact that I think I have to explain that in such simple terms? Incorrigible (definition: not corrigible; bad beyond correction or reform). I can't believe how stupid and I mean absolutely positively stupid most people in this country seem to be. Do you have any idea what it is you're voting for? Who you're affecting? Whose lives you could be harming beyond repair? Do you take the time out of your "busy" lives to think that maybe everything you hear isn't right? Maybe two years isn't enough time to fix a country that was horribly tattered and damaged. Maybe your stupid bias are as unfounded as your completely random beliefs and points of view that appear to come off the top of your head. Maybe you should take the time to learn the facts about things before jumping, and I mean giant leaps, to unfounded conclusions. As of right now, this country is incorrigible. I don't know if it will ever get better. I'd like to leave it, but I'm afraid if all the sensible people leave there will only be those stupid members of the majority to push the last nails into the nearly finished coffin of a once great nation.

It's hard to remain hopeful when you see the true nature of the majority of humans. Selfish. Hypocritical. Ignorant. And it doesn't matter to most of them. They'll continue on in their ignorance, completely unaware of the harm they're causing, the joy they're missing. The lives they're destroying.

Stop and think. Always think. Think for yourself. Think for your neighbors and loved ones. Think of every possibility as valid until you come to understand the only thing you should rely on are facts and truths. Not your pastor. Not Glenn f***ing Beck. Not your parents. Listen to the people who actually know what they're saying and have real, not biased, facts to back it up. Though this will get nowhere despite how strongly I feel this, I'm sure something will have to give someday. Karma has to come around to help those who are suffering.

People are stupid. If you don't want to be considered stupid you should probably start using your brain instead of blindly following people you think are using theirs, when they're blindly following someone who sees the world through extremely skewed views.

I am disturbed and disgusted tonight. I have lost most of my already diminishing faith in humanity.