Again?

Yep. I'm posting another one. I only have one more after this, I think. This one's pretty short though, I think. Yay! :) (also the language is decidedly less friendly at a couple points, I think, but not terrible)

“It's just...Those eyes of his!” I shout to my best friend, Beckett. He blinks at me from behind a Game Informer as I continue my tirade, “They're just big blue pools of staring! Every time I see them, it's like ahhhhh! They stare right through me like I'm nothing! It's infuriating!” Beck raises his eyes to glance at me for a moment before looking back at his—my—magazine as if I didn't say anything. “Well?” I demand.

“Well what?” he asks, looking disinterested.

“Well, do you have any thoughts on the matter? Aren't his eyes infuriating to you?” I shout and he blinks and shakes his head. “Why not!?” I demand, waving my arms around in frustration.

“I'm not homosexual,” he states very calmly and I'm simply shocked. Nay, scratch that, I am appalled! I am shocked and appalled! Before I get a word in edgewise, though, my stupid “best friend” continues on his, “I think you're gay” sermon, (which is new BTW), “Dude. It's no big deal that you're gay. I mean, it's the 20^th...” Beck notices his mistake and stops his sentence. It's a quirk of his I guess that he starts over at the beginning of the sentence, “I mean it's the 21^st century, if you're into dudes you should be happy. Proud that you're different than all us normal saps. Well...,” he trails off and glances at himself, before continuing, “Normal is subjective, really. In any case, to come off as homophobic wouldn't be good for my image, you see. So if you're into dudes that's totally cool. I mean, if I was all homophobic about it, wouldn't that raise suspicion and make the ladies secretly think my homophobia was a thin veil for my own homosexuality—?”

I cut him off because I have had enough! “I am not gay!” I am angry though! To accuse me, in my manly toughness, of being gay! That's just insanity. “If I were gay, I think I would know it!”

“Nahhh,” Beck dismisses, “haven't you ever heard of where a dude doesn't realize it until college? I know I watched Will and Grace, why didn't you?”

I just glare at him. I don't know what to say to him, but I do know that I am not gay. “You're such an annoying stupid...ARGH! Just leave my house right now!” He blinks at me, then back to my magazine that he'd been reading and repeats. Standing from my bed, he keeps the magazine and tucks it away like it's his.

“Give me that!” I shout, snatching my magazine back from him. “I mean, really. First you call me gay, then you try to steal my magazine. You are just deplorable!”

“I taught you that word!” he insists as I begin pushing him out the door. Stupid annoying dickhead. Once the nuisance is gone I settle in on my bed to read my magazine that he contaminated with his “it's OK to be gay” germs. As if I would suddenly just be all gay and shit. That's just ridiculous and I don't know why he thought it. I mean, the things I was saying were true! As for the guy I was talking about, that would be Leo Orion. His name, much like him, is just terrible. Not like my name, Aiden Farley, which is much cooler. Because everything about me is cooler than him. Especially my eyes, which don't spend any amount of their time annoying other people. I'm serious when I say that every time I look into his eyes something inside me goes off and I feel this weird infuriated feeling. In any case, I have a lot of other stuff to do, so I'll just get to that. I get to my homework, chores, whatever else I feel like doing...

Before I know it, it's night. Though I know it's night, my brain can't really focus on much other than Leo. It's really becoming a problem for me, because I feel so infuriated. It keeps me up for hours, as it has previous nights. In fact, pretty much all of my nights for the past few weeks have been this way. It's a wonder I haven't passed out from sleep depravity but I guess since I'm so tough it doesn't matter. I'm finally nearly asleep at three or four. Then, as often happens, it's morning in a flash. I get up and brush my teeth, and though I have PE first period and I don't know why I bother, shower. So then I get dressed, and since I'm completely straight don't fret meaninglessly in the mirror over my appearance. I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt with a band logo on it and I feel fine. I walk up the steps from my nice little basement room, but I hear my mom squawking about something and catch the time, which causes me to sprint the way to my car, and, as is often the case when I'm running late, speed all the way to school. I arrive just in time to sort of sneak in to the locker rooms a little late and quickly shed my clothes in lieu of some more PE appropriate clothes. I like PE. It lets me get out some of that pent up energy my mom always complains I have, and I get to win things. I do so enjoy winning. Especially when I'm on a separate team from stupid Leo Orion. Beck doesn't take PE, because he's a whiny little whiny face who doesn't like exercise, but that's just stupid and we both know it.

Today we're playing basketball, which is just a delight for me, since in all modesty...I rock basketball. I rock it so hard it begs for more. The teacher begins splitting up the teams into four so we can switch off and have different teams verse each other and give everyone more opportunity to play. I hope I'm on a different team than Leo, of course, so I can kick his sorry ass and show him what's what. Except all of a sudden I see him looking at me with those eyes of his...And suddenly I've missed what team I'm on. I sorta glance around and try to to count out the numbers as people walk off to their separate sides of the court and end up joining the smallest team. No one questions me and I'm thankful for that.

The first team we have to face is Leo's, which makes me ever so delighted. I have this uncontrollable urge to show him how great at basketball I am and that even though he's on the basketball team I'm still better than him. The game starts with a toss up between the two of us, and he looks into my eyes again. Suddenly a girl on my team is whining at me that I should try at least a little defense instead of standing there like a zombie. It's those eyes of his! They have me under some sort of magical evil paralyzing spell! They're just so blue...And they're looking at me again! Argh! I can't look away! As if by magic I'm aware there's a ball by my feet and I reach down to pick it up, but Leo is right in front of me, so naturally I can't move and I just drop the ball. He looks sort of concerned, actually, and I see his hands form that familiar t shape signaling time out.

“I think Aiden's sick!” he shouts to the teacher, “I'm going to walk him to the nurse, all right coach?” The teacher nods and I try to protest, to tell the teacher I'm not sick I'm merely under Leo's evil spell of evil, but I can't really say anything and then somehow my feet are moving. And my hand feels weirdly warm in a good way, but I can't see anything other than the back of Leo's head, where he keeps his eyes. All too late I understand this must be a trap! I turn to run away, but he catches me with his eyes and I stop in my tracks. “Dude, you all right? PE's not the same without you shouting things at me like we're the bitterest rivals in the world.” I'm aware, then, that we've started walking again. Is this right? Are we going in the direction of the nurse? I don't know anymore, my head is all confused and my stomach is having a panic attack or something!

“Aiden!” I can hear, but the world is just too fuzzy and I feel an unfamiliar happiness that I think means I'm dying. Too bad. I'm going to die without ever getting to see that movie...It comes out in just a week...Now Leo is definitely concerned. Worried, even. I'm not sure what words he's saying, because he's looking in my eyes and his eyes are all I can see. “Don't faint, seriously! We're almost there!”

Now the nurse is rushing over to me and I sorta get a muddled sense she's saying something about how pale I look, and I end up in a comfy little bed before I can protest that Leo is the cause of this. I didn't even realize I was tired, but I'm out before I know it.

I wake up to the very cause of this whole thing right in front of my face. “Oh!” Leo declares, “You're up!” he smiles at me and it makes me annoyed. “I was worried. The nurse said you're probably just exhausted. She's worried you haven't been sleeping enough. Do you not sleep enough?”

I just stare at him, because while I sorta get what he's saying, the words still sorta don't mean much of anything at all to me. “It's...it's your eyes!” I shout at him then, because I can't think of anything else to say.

“My eyes...?” he mumbles. I don't think he understands, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about anymore. I have a headache and I just want to go back to sleep. My eyes drift back shut, but stupid face speaks again.

“Hey, don't fall back to sleep! Your parents are going to come pick you up and you should be awake when they come,” he says, and I glare at him.

“How long?” I ask, and he tilts his head to the side.

“How long what? Have you been here? About three hours. I got your stuff from PE. I've been checking in on you every period.”

“No,” I reply. Whatever he's talking about. “How long have you had me under your evil eye spell you witchy wizardy person?”

“What?” he says, and laughs like I'm joking. I'm not joking. “I have you under a spell? Is that what this is all about?” I nod silently, and he laughs again. “Oh Aiden...I think the spell is mutual.” I don't get that because I'm definitely not a witchy wizardy person and I'm too tired to care so I roll over away from him and shut my eyes again. He's quiet for a while so I almost return to a peaceful sleep, but then he talks again and I just want to punch him, “Hey. That new movie came out the other day. Why don't the two of us go see it together?”

“What are you doin?” I ask, mumbling into my pillow, “Hitting on me?”

“I was actually asking you out,” he says. And then there is just nothing in my brain. Surely he can't mean that. Maybe I misheard him. Maybe I'm dreaming. I don't know, but I'm so completely tired. I can't think of anything to say in reply because I don't know what's happening anymore.

Once again, Leo stops me just before I get back to sleep. This time he's pulling on me to turn me back toward him, and he's just so close to me. I open my eyes and his are mere inches from mine. My breath catches in my throat as something strange tells me his eyes are really more beautiful than infuriating. His face, too, is handsome, not annoying or stupid. As I glance down I see the curves of his muscles and can't help but think his body is nothing other than attractive. So I do what makes sense right now, and I kiss him. Because I'm supposed to, right?

Something inside of me changes as I feel him kiss me back and I feel a really strange elation. I don't know what's happening, seriously, but it's hard for me to complain when I feel so good. He moves around so we're at better angles and pulls me closer to him. His hands are tangled in my hair and on my back, and as we separate his hand cups my face gently and my chest swells with some sort of affection. I grin at him, but then I remember I'm soooo sleepy. I pull away from him fairly quickly, look at him, and turn over. I'm so tired. He stays quiet again this time, but I feel something comforting on my hand that intertwines itself with it. I don't bother to look at my hand to investigate, because him being here feels right, right now. I feel my consciousness slipping as the world fades slowly to black.

When I wake up I'm being sort of hauled to the car by my parents who might be saying something about being more responsible with myself, but Leo's talking too. “I'll call you about that movie, OK?” I think I nod as I stumble into my parents' car with their help, and I'm out again for the car ride home. I wake up for a moment, only to stumble onto my couch and flop down with a groan.

Once I finally wake up and regain a full sense of what's going on, it's around six o'clock. Suddenly the whole encounter in the nurse's room comes back to me...Leo, how great his lips felt against mine, the feeling I had inside me when he looked at me so tenderly, how attracted to him I was...am...I think I owe Beck an apology.

Another

I'm posting another one of these. Much more recent, so making fun of me for this one isn't allowed. Enjoy if you want to. :) (It's pretty silly, fyi. I enjoy writing fun things. They seem to be the only ones I finish anyway.)

It was practically the single most embarrassing moment of my life. I cursed my weak constitution and hopelessly romantic mind with everything I had after it happened. What happened, you ask?

Well, let's begin with when I was a little boy. I watched a little movie called When Harry Met Sally and decided I was going to fall in love with my best friend. I blame this movie as much as anything for what happened. I was always kind of feminine in my actions, though not in my looks, so I guess my family figured it out pretty quickly that I was crushing on my best friend. Everyone in my family teased me about it all the time. Everyone in my family also teased me about my body type, later on. What body type is that? The type called “high metabolism.” My body was in shape for a good game of soccer at all moments. Why was this? I felt the obsessive compulsion to run at least a mile per day. Not because I worried about being in shape or anything, no. Because if I didn't run at least a mile every single stupid day I wasn't able to sleep, even though whenever I wasn’t running I always seemed awkwardly short of breath. It was absolutely ridiculous. I tried to break the habit once and spent a solid week only falling asleep when I was so tired I literally couldn't hold my eyes open. I always woke up within a couple hours though, so I eventually had to relent and return to my regular jogging schedules. So I was tall and toned on the outside and dressed to suit it, but my mind still showed me to be a flaming 'mo.

My first crush was on the most lovely human I had laid eyes on up to that point. See, by the time I turned 12, my mother had figured out that I was a raging homo and decided that I could probably watch Titanic straight through with the naughty bits uncensored with no real preteen sexual consequences. After watching Titanic, it became the single most important thing in my young life. I watched it every day for months on end, eventually deciding to fast-forward through the naked lady bits because they were of no interest to me. In fact, besides the obviously epic love story, the thing that interested me the most of all was the star of the movie. No, not Kate Winslet, who do you think I am? I speak of course of Leonardo DiCaprio. God's gift to preteen gay kids.

So it was only natural that when I saw Leonardo DiCaprio walking down the street, I sprinted on over to him. My friend who was with me at the time says I “ran like Forrest Gump” over to him. If I would have been thinking a little harder maybe I would have realized the young man I was looking at was thirteen, much like I was at the time, and not quite as identical to Leo as I thought he was.

In any case, I decided to just go for it and asked, “Can I have your autograph?”

“Sure,” he replied. No confusion in his voice whatsoever. In fact, I didn't even realize that he wasn't Leonardo DiCaprio until he wrote his name and number on a piece of paper and walked away. My best girl friend, Emory, joined me then and laughed at me as if my embarrassment was funny. It was not funny, and I realized the person who I'd just talked to probably didn't want anything to do with me in the future. Despite this realization, I made sure to remember his name and number. Charles “Chaz” Weiss.

It wasn't until my first allowed co-ed slumber party later that year that I actually called the number. I kept it under my pillow and fantasized that this “Chaz” was somehow related to Leonardo DiCaprio and if I called him I would meet and consecutively woo the celebrity. Emory, or Em as I called her, discovered the number under my pillow while we were playing a game of truth or dare.

As everyone knows only sissies choose truth so I went with dare. Em dared me to call the number and ask this Chaz fellow where he lived, then go to where he was and propose marriage. Since it was a dare I had to. I had no other option, so I picked up my phone and dialed his number.

The first conversation I ever had with his mother followed this. “Hello, Weiss residence,” Mrs. Weiss answered.

“Hello, may I speak to Chaz?” I asked, hoping she wouldn't ask me who I was.

“Who, may I ask, is calling?” she asked, and I cursed my psychic premonition creating powers.

“Kyler,” I replied immediately. Maybe she wouldn't call my BS at pretending to know Chaz if I sounded confident, right? Wrong.

“Charles doesn't have any friends by that name that I know of,” she stated. “How do you know my son?”

I knew I couldn't tell her the truth so I gave my best lie, “We go to school together.”

“And what school would that be?” she asked. Knowing I had been outsmarted, I went to hang up the phone. Before I hit that button labeled “talk” to chicken out of my dare a young male voice came on the other end.

“Let me talk Mom,” the voice said, “if it's for me then I get to talk.”

“OK, but if you invite another creep over we're not helping you out this time,” his mother warned him. I was intrigued by this exchange. See later I learned that Chaz was one of those people who liked to take home strays; you know dogs, cats, rabbits, homeless people, lost children, child molesters...Thankfully his mother learned to intercept it after a homeless woman slept in their basement for a week without her noticing.

Chaz took the phone from his mother and said, “Hey what's up? Let's hang out you and me and that girl.” Chaz always did have an excellent memory, except when it came to names.

“How did you know who I was?” I replied, but I should have realized then and there we were destined to be together. Both of us being “psychic” and all.

“Oh, I'm psychic,” he replied confidently. I believed him because that's kind of what I do. He had me believing he was actually psychic for a few weeks after that.

“Wowww! So can we come over there?” I asked.

“Yeah! Totally, where do I live?” he replied. I was confused. Extremely confused.

“Huh?” I replied. I later realized Chaz was a dweeb.
“Yeah, where do I live?” he asked again. I sat there in silence for a while, trying to understand what was happening, so Em grabbed the phone away from me and somehow figured out where Chaz lived. Fortunately it was about four blocks away. If it was any farther I most certainly would not have been able to go, but I didn't really think about that because I was 13 and thinking things through wasn't my strong point. Em and I sneaked out of my house and she, with her insanely impressive sense of direction, led me to Chaz's house.

Chaz's sister (fraternal twin, may I add) met us at the door. She was like a female Leonardo DiCaprio and I fangasmed. Fangasm is a word Em taught me. It means “to have a fan orgasm.” The more you know, right? So then Christie, as she is called, let us into the house because I flattered her so much. Looking at it now, she probably looks more like (young) Leo than Chaz does. I'm OK with that. So Christie led us to Chaz's room where he was waiting for us. I guess it was some sort of trust thing that I lost a year or two later, but we made immediate friends. After a short while of discussing our favorite cereals and why they were our favorites (because he was having cereal for a nighttime snack) Em reminded me I still needed to propose. So I proceeded to get down on one knee and ask Chaz if he would be my lawfully wedded wife.

“Why of course. You've made me the happiest woman in the world,” he replied, and I think I almost got my first kiss at that very moment, because he leaned forward a little bit when he said it. At least, that's what I told everyone else later when I recounted my daring tale where I traveled four whole blocks from my home with no parental supervision. To my two other friends...I didn't have a lot of friends. We left soon after, but not before discovering that we were all going to go to the same high school. For the rest of that summer we didn't hang out a lot, but Chaz tracked Em and I down on our first day of high school.

“Kyla and...girl!” he declared loudly as he approached us. After reminding him of our names, which he insisted he didn't forget but simply made some “artistic changes” to, we settled in on being the three best friends that anyone can have. We sang that song together pretty frequently, and I guess we were probably pretty annoying as freshmen. Chaz and I bonded as we got a bit older, and joined the soccer team together in the spring. I ran cross country in the fall, but Chaz whined at me about it when I did and complained that “running is dumb.” Before this time, the three of us were all best friends together, but Chaz and I began to develop a separate best friendship as well.

It was during the summer that followed when I began spending time with Chaz separate from Em pretty frequently. I mean, I still hung out with Em by herself too, and the three of us hung out together, but Em and Chaz never hung out just the two of them. I was confusingly relieved.

That year when school started Chaz and I were officially best friends separate from Em. This meant I was supposed to avoid falling in love with him yet and save it for at least a year or two. Unfortunately he offered to join me in cross country and took up daily running with me. This caused two things: even more time for us to spend together and an even more attractive body in his part. By the time soccer started and the year ended Chaz became irresistible with his slowly maturing personality. Deep down he was still a dweeb, but he came off as older and therefore was somehow more attractive to me. Not that I don't love the dweeb in him, because I do.

During the summer before Junior year, I went back to hanging out with Em more than I hung out with Chaz until Chaz noticed and I had to hang out with him too. Our relationship was a tad more awkward, because of my new found and ever on my mind crush. Still, there was no one in the world who I enjoyed spending time doing absolutely random things with more than Chaz. We spent a surprising amount of time playing video games, but I guess for two teenage boys that was pretty normal, even if one was a flaming 'mo.

For the most part we played harmless games like Mario Kart and Mario Party and Halo. Believe it or not, I was pretty good at those games, and we had a real rivalry going. Sometimes this rivalry went over into other things, like making sandwiches. We usually raced when we did anything that you could possibly compete at. A standard contest in the friendship of Chaz and Kyler went as such:

In the late morning to early afternoon, Chaz would call. “Hey, what's up? You busy Ky?” he would ask.

“No, not really Chaz,” I would reply with a happy little grin on my face.

“Would you like to come over here to my house to spend some quality times together?” he would ask.

“Oh yes I most certainly would,” I would reply. In not too much time I would be over at his house, hanging out with him and his family and making sandwiches.

“OK, go!” his little brother would say, and then judge which one of us would win the sandwich making contest. I would take out a slice of bread, slather on some mayo, toss on some meat or fake meat (Chaz's sister was a vegetarian and eventually convinced the two of us to give it a shot) some lettuce and whatever else we wanted to add. Chaz's two siblings and I got along really well, so sometimes we even competed to see who made the best food for their dinner. One example of one of these competitions was on an evening where we agreed to make pasta for Bennet (Ben) and Christie.

“OK, I get this burner you get that one,” I instructed, and Chaz nodded. We both pulled pans out of the cupboard and tossed pasta onto the burners. Ben was betting on me and Christie was betting on Chaz, so they were cheering each of us on and booing the other one. We finished with almost perfect timing together, and then Ben and Christie tested the food. Naturally they claimed whichever team they were on had the better food. This resulted in the four of us settling the contest by playing team Super Smash Brothers Brawl. This time Ben and I won, but there were plenty of times when the opposite was true. Eventually even Chaz's siblings picked up on the fact that I was crushing on him, but they teased me a bit less than my own. Where my two older brothers and one younger sister joked about how I was hopeless, Ben and Christie gave me status updates on how clueless their brother remained. In truth, I think they were all gunning for us to end up together; my siblings, his siblings, Em, and my parents. His parents were sometimes a different story, but he didn't really mind anything they did. See, Chaz's dad worked a lot, and they were kind of involved between the two of them more than anything else. It wasn't a huge surprise then that they got divorced by the end of the summer before Junior year.

The biggest change this brought about was the way Chaz and his siblings gravitated to my house after that. Ben was a year younger than my little sister, Sammy, and Christie was our age. Though these were, admittedly on their part, excuses. Ben and Christie both enjoyed the time they spent with me more than the time they spent with my siblings. This isn't just me being egotistical, these are their words. Sometimes the four of us actually hung out together, but sometimes Chaz and I managed to find our alone time. Though we didn't really talk about a lot of the more serious aspects that were going on, our relationship grew in strength over that time.

By the middle of Junior year, I was thoroughly enamored with him. Em took over the main job of teasing me about it, but she also gave me a lot of hope. Thankfully, Chaz never dated, so my heart never had to break while I watched anything so awful. Our friendship was still going strong by the middle of senior year, which is when the event I discussed at the beginning of this story happened. Let's get to that part, then, shall we?

Since Em and I were secretly preteen girls on the inside, we played a lot of the old sleepover games. One day while we waited for Chaz to show up so we could go play some Xbox in my basement, we played the old “Bam, a divorce!” game. I will explain this game to you now. So first you take a deck of cards and pull out the four kings. You then shuffle up the deck, and the person playing picks out a card and sets it off to the side without looking at it. Then you lay out the four kings and name off four guys (or girls, I'm not closed minded) who you want to play the game with. At the end of the game you end up with one of these people, so pick wisely. In this particular game, I got to pick one, Em got to pick one, and we had to agree on the other two, but that's simply our variation. So we listed off the options. I chose young Leonardo DiCaprio as the king of diamonds (because even I had to admit as he got older he got a bit less attractive), Em chose her ex-boyfriend who she insisted was gay as the king of clubs, and in the middle we agreed on Chaz as the king of hearts and Em herself as the king of spades. Em then got to dealing out the cards, one in front of each card until all the cards ran out, and then she organized them and showed them all to me. In this game, the number of heart cards you get signifies the amount of love you'll get in the relationship, the number of clubs you get is the number of kids you'll have, the number of diamonds you get is the amount of money you'll have, the number of spades is the number of big fights, and the number of aces, no matter the suit, is the amount of divorces.

Things looked pretty good as she went through them, Leo would give me a decent amount of love but more money than anything but would end in a divorce, Em's ex would give me a lot of children and a good relationship for the most part but would end in a divorce, Em would give me tons of love and a well-balanced relationship, and Chaz would give me no love at all, lots of children, a tiny amount of money, tons of big fights and two divorces. Em flipped over my card from the beginning and giggled as she handed it to me. The suit of the card was, of course, hearts. According to this game, then, Chaz and I were going to have the worst relationship ever, get divorced, and then get remarried and divorced again. Em was teasing me about this when Chaz walked in.

“Just face it, you and Chaz are going to end up together and have the worst marriage ever. He doesn't love you even a little bit haaaa,” Em stated right as Chaz walked into the room.

“Hey!” he protested, glaring at Em. “When we get married it's going to be beautiful and awesome and you're going to be jealous. Of course I love him.”

For the first time, I wasn't really sure if Chaz was joking or not. In the past I knew Chaz joked around about our relationship a lot, about the fact that we were “engaged” and whatnot, but I was usually pretty sure that he was joking. After a silent moment where Em and I glanced between each other, Em spoke, “Do you...think you guys are actually engaged?”

Chaz just stared at her for a while, and then eventually mumbled, “Oh.” He walked farther into my room and stared down into my eyes. “I really...was insane as a child,” he stated, as he sat in front of me and I tried to speak. My mind was already reeling, actually, and I was feeling a bit light-headed at the prospect of the words he'd already spoken (“I love him”). He explained himself quickly, but I was hardly listening, “When I was younger I had the firm belief that a marriage proposal, if accepted, was something that couldn't be backed out of. So even if it was a joke, I believed you had to get married to that person. I learned I was wrong a long time ago, but I guess it just never clicked...” Em laughed, but my heart was going too crazy to think anything. Despite my shaky legs, I stood up and walked toward my window in an attempt to get some fresh air, where I remained while Em and Chaz had a whispered conversation. If I were trying to listen, I probably would have heard it, but I was actually trying to stabilize my heartbeat.

This did not work out well when Chaz walked over to me and looked at me with those chocolate colored eyes and spoke in a low voice, “Ky, I wasn't joking when I just said I love you.” My eyes probably did this crazy freakout thing as he leaned close to me, pressing his lips against mine. Everything was perfect for a few seconds, until the mortifying thing I told you about in the beginning of this tale happened. I passed out. Turns out when you're extremely light-headed because your dreams are coming true sometimes you pass out.

Em recounted the story to me later. She apparently thought it was very funny when Chaz leaned down and kissed me, then my knees buckled and Chaz caught me. The look on his face was also “hilarious” but I disagree that this could be possible. He caught me in a way so that his arms were around my waist, so he shuffled me over to my bed and lay me there, where I woke up a few moments later. During the time that I lay there unconscious, Chaz and Em discussed how long I must have been waiting for that moment.

Chaz's face greeted me when I woke up and he had an amused little smirk on his face. “You don't need to go to the doctor, do you?”

“No I'm just a moron,” I spat out. I was so embarrassed I could hardly squeak out, “I'm sorry.”

Chaz smiled at me and grabbed my hand and pressed his lips against it, crawling onto my bed, where I had apparently been relocated to after I fainted. “Did you really think I was joking every time I told you I loved you? I kind of thought you didn't feel the same way...Every other time I've tried to kiss you you kind of dodged away...”

“I proposed to you on a dare,” I sighed, “and I thought you just thought it was funny to pretend to want to kiss me, but I didn't want to make you do that. You never even told me you're gay...” Everything made perfect sense then when I thought about it, but I hadn't realized Chaz had believed we were already in a romantic relationship. I sighed again and pressed my head against Chaz's shoulder.

“I kind of thought I didn't have to,” he replied. “Most of the guys I've met don't frequently try to kiss their best friends.” At that moment, Chaz and I were probably on about the same levels of denseness combined with idiocy, so I scowled at him.

“Yeah, but there are a few,” I insisted, knowing it wasn't really true. “No one else got it either. We've all been talking about it for a long time.”

Chaz shrugged at me and leaned close to me, “Well none of that matters now. Be my boyfriend?” I nodded, so he kissed me again, and I successfully avoided passing out this time.

Chaz was the best boyfriend a guy could hope for, which was still a bit of an issue for me and my weak constitution. The second time I passed out was when he asked me to Prom in front of all our friends, which was at least twice as mortifying. Luckily enough I love him and every part of his being, so much that even a couple fainting spells and a lot of times where I have to sit down to catch my breath can't keep us apart.

Well...

I decided to upload my oldest completed sorry about gay dudes that is at least sort of decent. If you don't want to read it, just ignore this post. :)

(I apparently wrote this in 2007, so no judgy judgy, OK?)

Also beware! It's 16 pages in word. And divided by chapters somehow. Ready go!

Ok, so I have a story to tell. All those who have little hearts and low tolerance should not read this story for it contains me, a man, being in love with a prince. I always liked to spend my time just thinking about fairytales when it came to my Prince. I always thought it was an irritatingly repetitive story; the Prince finds a fair maiden and they fall in love, and they live happily ever after, only after the Prince rescues the Maiden from some horrible fate. This story is not about that. It may contain an irritating maiden, but when given a chance, she’s not so bad.

However, the story I’m about to tell is my story. The story of one of the people who aren’t important or necessary in fairytales, but are always there. My job was the Prince’s servant. His personal servant, like maybe a handmaiden, I guess. I just don’t like the word manservant, ok? Don’t bug me. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes…Now where should I begin my tale?

“Ok, Thor shall be my new servant!”

“I-it’s Thaddeus, S-Sire.”

“Oh, really? Are you sure it isn’t Thor?”

…Ok. So that wasn’t the best place to start, but yeah. That’s my name. Thaddeus…So anyway, now that we know what happened back when the Prince and I met, let’s skip forward a bit.

“Hey Thaddeus!” the Prince whined, and I tried to ignore him. I really did. I was trying to read, and the story was just reaching its climax, but he interrupted me. I sighed and glanced up at him. The only thought in my head was, “Oh god.” “Does this look ok? My parents set up another ball, and I thought…I should pick out my own clothes tonight!” I just stared at him and then clicked my tongue. He frowned. I pulled off his painfully and blindingly purple makes-him-look-like-a-box shirt and he gasped. “What? What’s wrong with it?”

“Prince Erastus,” I said, “Do you want to scare away all the candidates for your marriage?

“Hm…I don’t think mom and dad will like that, will they?” he asked.

I smiled at him and muttered a soft agreement before asking, “Sir Prince, do you mind if I look through your clothes and pick something out for you?” It was a relief that he was wearing plain black pants and boots, but I set out to find something attractive for him. And trust me, I can tell what looks good on the Prince. Anyway, I picked out a blue shirt for him. It perfectly showed off his butt, and successfully displayed his miniscule muscles. It had a collar and a small waist…I remember it like it was yesterday. He looked stunning in it; his cyan hair shone brightly—what? Cyan? It’s a light blue color. Yeah. It’s his natural hair color. Leave me alone! Back to the point…What? Don’t believe me about the hair? Well guess what color my hair is! It’s purple. Purple and blue. Naturally purple and blue. What style? Well it’s like…there’s one chunk of my bangs that’s longer than the rest of my hair. It reaches my chin, but the rest of it just goes to my ear…Hey! Don’t distract me! Back to my Prince…Now I lost my place. You happy? Damn distracter…

Um…Yeah…. He looked stunning in it, it brought out his deep blue eyes and his cyan hair shone brightly and blew in the wind…I couldn’t say why the Prince had put a fan on the top shelf in his armoire, but it added to the drama. Or whatever. Oh! His haircut was like…Short and flat…Like a fox! Ehm –cough- anyway, so the time of the ball came. I sat by the Prince and walked around with him, and he would often lean down to me and say such things as, “Ha, look at that lady waddle,” and “How old is he, 201?” now I realized these things weren’t funny, but I laughed anyway to be polite. At one point, he just walked up to me and said, “Colon.” I still don’t know why…I gave up on figuring him out long before that day, though, so I didn’t think too much on it. The ball eventually ended, once again without a hitch, and the King and Queen angrily scolded Prince Erastus.

“Erastus why can’t you just find a girl and settle down!? There were plenty of fine girls here tonight!” the Queen shouted.

“But those weren’t the right girl,” Prince Erastus insisted. “I want to wait until I find the perfect girl for me.” I knew I shouldn’t have been listening, but my Prince had told me it was my duty to eavesdrop, so I went along with it. There was a lot more shouting that I don’t care to discuss, and then I entered the room. Erastus glanced up at me and smiled.

“Hey Hurkey Turkey,” he said, and I walked over and sat next to him.

“You ok, Sire?” I asked, wanting to console him but knowing I wasn’t supposed to touch him. Especially not when I could be seen.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, his eyes were glazed over with tears, so I could see that he wasn’t ok.

“Cheer up!” I cheered. He glanced up at me.

“Aw, you’re the best friend a guy can have, Thaddeus,” he said, and then grabbed me by the hand and pulled me up to his room. “Thaddeus, I have a favor,” he said, in all seriousness.

I stared at him. “You know I’m your servant, right? There’s no need to ask.”

“Pickle juice,” he said, wide-eyed.

“What?” I asked.

“Huh?” he replied.

I stared at him for even longer, and he coughed, but finally said something else. “Will you find me a perfect girl so my parents will leave me alone?”

“What?” I asked, shocked slightly. Why was he asking me this? I couldn’t tell attractive girls from butt-ugly girls. How was I supposed to know which girls were attractive, anyway? I mean…Did it have to do with hair color? Maybe with breasts? Who knows? I certainly didn’t, but I had trouble finding a reply. I finally found a good reason, so I said it, “My taste surely is not the same as your own, Sire. I do not believe it is a good choice to ask someone such as me to pick out a woman for you.”

Erastus sighed and fell onto his bed, “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. But Thaddeus, what should I do? I just can’t find the right girl.”

“Pardon the impudence, Sire, but maybe you just need to keep looking. I am sure you will find a girl who truly appreciates how amazing you really are,” I said, a pang of regret and a hint of remorse following the suggestion. By this time, I was already desperately in love with the Prince and didn’t truly want him to find that perfect girl, out of the fear that if he found her and married her, he’d no longer want me around.

“Hm…Hey Thaddeus, what’s ‘impudence’?” Erastus asked, smiling and flopping back so he was lying down. He was so adorable that way…I wished I could just crawl up next to him and snuggle in, but I knew I couldn’t. “Sounds familiar.”

“That’s because it was in your last lesson, Sire. Impudence is rude behavior,” I explained, smiling at him while he wasn’t looking. He sat up, and I tried to dash away my smile, but he caught it.

“What? You think my inattentive stupidity is funny?” Erastus asked, and I wished I had realized his angry tone was masking his amusement.

“No, no, I just…please forgive me my impudence, Sire,” I apologized, making a fool of myself. I gasped as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down into his bed. He began to tickle me, and I tried to push his arms away, but he refused to stop, and I couldn’t stop giggling. Once he finally rolled off me, I was too exhausted to get back up, from all the nonstop laughing.

He lay sideways, staring at me, and smiled. “You know, you don’t have to hide your smiles from me. You’re not my slave, you’re my friend.”

“Servant,” I insisted, rolling off the bed before Erastus could tempt me any further.
Erastus sighed, “Thaddeus I wish you’d just stop being so uptight.”

“If your parents caught us being so chummy you know just as well as I do, Sire, that I would be thrown out of this castle, likely out of the entire kingdom,” I explained, and he frowned in agreement. “And I can’t risk living on the streets again just for a friendship with a Prince who will just forget all about me when he gets married.”

“Oh, is that what this is about?” Erastus asked, standing up. I dared not to turn my back to him, no matter how much I wanted to. He lifted his hand and rested it on my head. (Not before I flinched…I’d known him for a long time, but I never trusted royalty. No matter how much I loved him, I’d been a commoner; our monarchs weren’t exactly the most attentive.) “Don’t worry, though. You’re the only servant I’ll ever want.”

Throughout the next few days I avoided Erastus like the plague, but it was tough, considering I was his servant and I was required to wait on him hand and foot. He finally demanded to me one day that I tell him why I wasn’t talking to him.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “I guess I just feel like…,” I tried to explain, as he had me pinned against the wall and my heart was racing a mile a minute, “somehow us being so close violates the Master-Servant relationship.”

Erastus just stared at me for a moment; I thought he was mad. When he spoke, though, I realized he wasn’t. “You worry about the weirdest things, Thaddeus. We can still be friends, even if you are my servant.” Our faces were inches apart by this moment, and I let my eyes fall shut as I felt a sharp twang in my heart. When his lips were so close to mine, I just wanted to close the distance between us…Just a couple inches and our lips would make contact. Just a little courage and I could do it. I was going to do it, I was. Then I wouldn’t feel like I was hiding anything from him anymore.

“Sire!” I cursed the Page who yelled that. Deep down somewhere, I’m sure I thanked him too, though. “There’s someone here to see you, a beautiful woman has come to meet you…Oh, Sire, I’m sorry for interrupting…” He looked like he was about to throw up, and Erastus walked by him coldly.

I walked over to him, and he looked at me with scared eyes, “Don’t worry. You didn’t interrupt anything.”

“Are—are you sure?” he asked.

I smiled at him, “Positive.” We both began walking, and I took a second looked at the frightened youth, “Your name is Lysander, right?”

He swallowed hard and answered fearfully, “R-right. Who are you?”

“I’m Thaddeus,” I replied, smiling at the poor boy. “You’re the new Page, right?”

Lysander nodded twitchingly. I wanted to grab his head and steady it, but I held myself back. I pulled Lysander with me to wait outside of the room that Erastus had gone into. Lysander looked at me, panicking, and I smiled. “I promised Prince Erastus that I would eavesdrop for him,” I explained, and Lysander attempted a smile. It ended up more like a grimace. I stifled a laugh and listened in.

“May I introduce to your royal highness, Lady Hebe Effel,” a loud squire introduced to Erastus. I pushed up further against the door, and waved Lysander away. He swallowed hard again and shook his head, so I shrugged and tried hard to keep listening in.

“Pleased to meet you, Your Majesty,” she said, in a quiet voice.

“I…,” he trailed off. “Named Erastus I’m a horky tork dork.” My heart felt ripped in two at that moment. He’d obviously found a girl who struck him stupid. More stupid than he normally was, that is. I guess I must have sighed loudly, because Lysander patted my shoulder gently. Hebe giggled quietly and I had to do all in my power not to storm in the room at that very moment.

“Is it ok with Your Majesty if I stay in Your Majesty’s house for tonight? I am afraid that I’m weary from my travels and I do need a place to stay,” Hebe said, and I latched my hand onto Lysander’s shoulder and squeezed.

I didn’t even notice him wince as Erastus replied, “You stay here?”

“Yes, Your Majesty if that is all right with you,” she replied.

“Yeah, that good,” he struggled out. The door started to open, and I grabbed Lysander’s hand and pulled him out of sight. This was where I got my first glimpse of Hebe—she was definitely pretty, with curly brown hair and glowing brown eyes. She wore an elegant gown a peasant couldn’t possibly have acquired, proving she was no commoner. Her face looked innocent enough, and she trod along behind my baffled love as he led her to the guest room. I huffed and stormed back to the servant’s quarters where people like Lysander and I slept. I barely noticed him trailing closely behind me, that is until I slammed the door shut in his face. He squeaked and I opened it in surprise.

“Sorry Lysander,” I apologized softly, and he walked into the room.

We were silent for a moment before he spoke, “I can go if you want.”

“Nah,” I replied, beckoning that he sit down next to me on my tiny bed.

I looked over at him, and he stared back at me. I realized at that moment how incredibly empty his green eyes were. Along with that emptiness, the only other thing I saw was fear. I felt the sudden urge to hug him, but I stopped myself and continued to look him over. He wore what were basically rags, and I could see his bones poking out from his visible skin quite profusely. Sun-kissed blonde hair fell over his face slightly in an untidy cut, looking like it hadn’t been washed in a while. I couldn’t stop my hand from caressing his face gently, seeing how sunken his cheeks were. He closed his eyes and collapsed into my arms. I noticed how shallow his breath was quickly, and I swept him up bridal style; he lay limp in my arms. The sudden occurrence came as a shock as the boy I barely knew passed out. I ran to the only place I could think of—Erastus’ room.

He was in there with Hebe; it looked quite like I had interrupted something, as they were standing compromisingly close, though I'll admit it was more likely than anything that Hebe had slipped and fallen into him. I stifled my tears at the sight and held up Lysander, desperately hoping for help, and realizing that my arms were about to collapse just from the weight of this severely underweight boy…I’ve never been very strong, alright?

Hebe ran over, asking what happened. I told her that he just collapsed, and she did some magic-y seeming first aid, and he blinked a couple times.

“Ooh,” he groaned.

“What, do you not feed the servants around here!?” she yelled in a fierce tone at Erastus, who faded away.

He looked at me pleadingly, and I decided to grant his wish. “No, we’re fed quite well and our beds are quite comfortable, I assure you, Miss. You see he is new here and as such just came in off the streets. Unfortunately, I now recall that on the streets people who look like him are not uncommon occurrences. In fact, for the common folk, especially orphans as I’d guess he is, this is very common. In fact, most orphans starve to death.”

“Are…Are you serious?” I could hear Erastus mumble as Hebe shrieked in disapproval.

“You can’t possibly be serious!” Hebe shouted. The anger was rather unbecoming of her soft features. “You!” she demanded, pointing an angry finger at Erastus. He looked like he was shriveling up and dying. I crouched down and looked at Lysander. He was breathing deeply; gasping for air in fact.

“A-ah! Ah!” I said, rising and pulling on Hebe’s arm gently.

“What!?” she hissed, and then noticed Lysander. She gave him some kind of magic kiss of life, and his breathing steadied for whatever reason. I watched as she turned on Erastus again, and shouted her lungs out about bad living conditions and such.

I couldn’t take much more, as Erastus had this “I’m a puppy who’s just been kicked multiple times” look, so I stepped in. I knew it wasn’t my place as a servant, but I didn’t care when it came to Erastus. “Please stop yelling Lady Effel. I’m sure he has a reasonable explanation, please hear him out.”

Erastus smiled at me, and Hebe frowned and said, “Ok, fine. Why haven’t you done anything for these people?”

“Whenever I talk to my parents about it they say not to meddle in their business, and that I can do what I want when I take the throne, but until then I have no business telling them how to rule the kingdom,” Erastus explained. Even I didn’t know that part. I really did hate the King and Queen with a passion; they were horrible at taking care of the citizens of their country, but the citizens were too weak and frail to do anything about it.

“Oh…,” Hebe mumbled. “Sorry for yelling at you, Your Majesty.”

I glared at Erastus as he said, “Please, call me Erastus.” He’d never said that to me before. It made my chest hurt. I clutched it absently as Hebe gave him a warm smile. She then turned to me, and I quickly bowed my head.

“And who might you be?” she asked. I almost snarled in rage that Erastus hadn’t mentioned me yet, but I answered her.

“My name is Thaddeus Kavanagh,” I said, bowing deeply.

“Ah. Yes, well it seems you already know, but my name is Hebe Effel,” she introduced, curtsying politely. “I came here because my father wishes me to learn what it’s like at this castle. So if you’ll have me…”

Here we have the maiden. The beautiful, sweet, caring maiden I hoped to hate. Somehow she won me over, so I simply mumbled, “You don’t need my approval.”

She smiled a heart-warming smile, and bent down to Lysander. “And who’s this?”

“He’s Lysander…Melbourne is his last name, I think,” I informed her, and she looked up at me. I only knew because I'd heard the Royal Majesties speaking about him.

“Can you carry him back to wherever he lives?” she asked sweetly. I looked down at my arms. They were wimpy and not made for carrying anything more than 30 pounds, even if he wasn’t much more. I gave her a “pity me” face and she sighed.

“I can walk,” Lysander heaved. He scrambled up, and I noticed how awkwardly his entire body moved and how shaky he was.

“No, why don’t you just stay here?” Hebe asked. I silently agreed. He needed food, and he needed it quick.

“I can’t!” Lysander shrieked as his eyes filled with tears. Ok. I was, officially, confused. I would be glad with such an offer. “I can’t just leave Claude all alone out there! I have to find him!”

“Who’s Claude?” I asked in my confusion.

“My little brother!” he screamed. “He’s still on the streets…I promised him after I got food I would run out and find him…I’m sure he’s still waiting for me somewhere.”

“Oh…Oh!” Hebe shrieked. “We have to find him! How old is he?”

“He’s eight,” Lysander mumbled. I then started wondering just how old Lysander himself was. He couldn’t be over 12, but he looked about 10…

“How old are you?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself. He collapsed on me, so I figured I had the right to know.

“13,” he mumbled softly, as if he was in pain. I was still surprised by his age, though.

Hebe obviously picked up on it too, because she said, “Look, we’ll find him; you need to stay here and rest.”

“No, you don’t know what he looks like, and I told him not to trust strangers,” Lysander replied. “Now let’s go while I can still move.”

So we set out onto the street. Erastus had offered to come along, but I pleasantly explained, and was reassured by Lysander, that he’d likely be killed if he went out onto the street. The people there may have been weak, but they were also incredibly hostile. We searched for the kid, but I ended up hauling Lysander back, and Hebe hauled back a kid who was half-dead.
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Claude was just as skinny as Lysander, and you could clearly make out all his ribs. I watched a heart-wrenching scene, as Lysander sobbed by Claude’s side for days straight, and Claude wouldn’t wake up. Hebe stayed to help take care of them, and Erastus found the best doctor he could, but he explained to us that if Claude didn’t wake up he couldn’t do anything to help. In the meantime, he was practically forcing Lysander better, and it was somewhat relieving to see him gaining weight back. After a couple days, Claude finally woke up, and Lysander hugged him and wouldn’t let him go no matter how many times the doctor insisted that he should. I finally had to pull him off his little brother. Within a week, Claude was up and running around, with the energy any eight year old should have. During that week, I talked to Lysander a lot, and developed what I would call my first “friend” not counting my Prince. Erastus himself had spent a lot of time with Hebe throughout that week, but I was ok with that. Hebe was sweet. Like I said, not an irritating maiden when given a chance. Hebe knew more about how to heal Claude than any of the doctors, so she spent her extra time with him. I still had to spend a lot of time with Erastus, but I also would talk to Lysander a lot at night. On one such night somehow we got on the subject of how exactly each of us had ended up at the castle.

Lysander and I, I had realized, slept right across from each other. He told me sadly, Claude sleeping on his chest, that he had sneaked into the castle and gotten caught, so he had been turned into a Page since they needed one. He was just trying to get food for his starving brother and himself, but he was scared of disobeying the King and Queen. I finally inquired about his family, and he sighed deeply. “My parents were killed by some soldiers when they tried to stand up to them…They captured my older brothers, but I just took Claude and never looked back because all of them told us to run.” Somehow his simple explanation was a little less heart-wrenching that it would have been had he showed any emotion as he said it, but I still felt really bad for him.

“Older brothers? You think they’re here somewhere?” I asked under my breath.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled softly. I reached out to him, and his hand met mine. I could tell he was smiling, and we pulled our hands back to our beds.

“Would you go ta sleep?” another servant asked, and I frowned. I think it was the cook.

“We’re just talking,” I replied indignantly.

“An’ actin’ all lovey-dovey,” he said angrily. “I should tell tha King and Queen about your little romance, you’d be executed before you can say ‘I’m scum.’”

“Shut up,” I ordered. Lysander was the only one who knew the way I felt about Erastus, and I planned to keep it that way, since love between two males was so forbidden it was practically unheard of. And for his information, Lysander and I were just friends. Therefore, I told him that. “Lysander and I are friends, but I’m sure you can’t understand that because you have no friends and you never have.”

The cook scoffed but didn’t reply, probably because I hit the nail dead on. I could barely see it in the dark, but Lysander had started gently stroking Claude’s hair. Claude spent half his time sleeping, but Lysander barely ever let the young boy out of his sight, which caused him to do less work than the King and Queen would have liked. I could see their anger building up, but Lysander was such a suck up that they let his slight absence slide. We hushed up for the night, and the next day, to my surprise, Erastus asked about Lysander and Claude. By this time, I had taken note of how silent and less of a dork he had been lately.

“So the new Page, Lysander…,” he muttered. “Most people are like him?”

“Most that I remember, Sire,” I replied, bowing politely. Erastus sighed deeply and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“And my parents, King Harold and Queen Estelle, they know this?” he asked.

“It’s hard to ignore,” I informed him, and he frowned at me.

“So I guess…You think I can do anything to change it?”

“I don’t really know, Sire,” I admitted, and he sighed again.

“So that Lysander boy and his brother, they’re ok, right?” he asked. He hadn’t seen Claude yet, so it was no surprise to me that he didn’t remember Claude’s name. It was funny to me, though, how different Claude looked from his brother. He had shaggy hair, just the same, but it was a caramel brown color, and his eyes, unlike Lysander’s, were a brown color that twinkled when he was happy. Apparently Lysander was never happy, because I never saw his eyes twinkle, and he still constantly shook in the presence of Erastus or the King and Queen. I myself rarely even saw the King and Queen.

“For now. Lady Effel has done very well getting them back to full health,” I said. He frowned.

“Speaking of Hebe…,” he muttered. I hated it when he said her name. I quelled the anger in my gut and listened to him “My parents want me to marry her…”

“O-Oh?” I mumbled, at a momentary loss of words from the shock, and then regained my composure. “And do you want to marry her?”

“Well…I do, but…,” he mumbled. It was too bad he didn’t realize that those words had shredded my heart into many pieces.

“…But?” I struggled out, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

“But I still don’t know if she’s the right girl,” he sighed. “I mean she’s nice and pretty and she cares about people, so I should want to marry her, right? And even you seem to approve of her, that’s amazing…So why don’t I want to marry her?”

“I thought you just said you wanted to marry her? And you’re right, she’s perfect, you should marry her,” I encouraged despite myself.

“Yeah…Yeah you’re right!” he exclaimed, and then he did something I didn’t expect him to. He pulled me forward and hugged me. I was content with sitting there in his arms, but I noticed that he wasn’t letting me go and cleared my throat. There was nothing in my throat, mind you, I did it because him holding me made me want him more than ever, and raised my hopes more than I wanted it to. He pulled away from me, looking embarrassed. I smiled at him, a forced notion, and he tittered before changing the subject.

“So would it so happen that Lysander has a brother?” he asked. I was surprised, but nodded vigorously.

“How did you know that!?” I asked. I didn’t mean to shout, but if I could find Lysander’s brother then he would be really happy, which would make me really happy.

“Well I noticed a couple days ago that one of my parent’s servants looks suspiciously like Lysander,” he said, smiling. “I can get him for you if you like.”

“Yeah!” I exclaimed. I realized how rude I sounded and said, “Er—I mean…Yes, Sire. If it isn’t too much trouble.”

“Of course not!” he yelled, holding up his fist. “I’ll get him now, you wait here!” he exclaimed. He didn’t know where he was going. How did I know? He ran the opposite direction of the throne room, where the King and Queen undoubtedly were. I headed toward it and waited patiently outside for Erastus to realize it. While I was waiting, I looked around at the long hallway. It was made of brick, and instead of windows, it had many arches letting the light in. I always thought this hallway was unsafe, but this was the way the King and Queen wanted it. Besides, they had squashed any rebellion with their lack of compassion for the common folk, resulting in the common folk becoming very weak.

“Thaddeus!” I heard the voice of none other than Erastus shout. He came into view at the end of the hallway and shouted in an annoyed but playful tone, “Why didn’t you tell me I went the wrong way?”

“Well, you were gone by the time I left your room,” I replied simply, and he ruffled my hair and walked into the throne room. I fixed my hair as I listened absently to the commotion in the throne room, and then Erastus came out of the room, looking dejected, and gave me a pout.

“They won’t let him come,” he whined. “But I figured out his name!”

“Good, Sire, what is it?” I asked. He grinned at me.

He made this “I’m not gonna tell you” face. I reached my hand near his face; I wanted to sock him one. I pulled back my hand and glowered at him. He finally relented and whispered, “It’s Liam.”

“Liam, huh?” I muttered. “I’ll ask him what his brothers’ names…” Then it occurred to me. He had said that he had older brothers, didn’t he? Even if this was his brother, what about the other one? Or two? Or however many brothers he had? I sighed as I walked away, but Erastus grabbed my arm and I stopped. Shit…I had forgotten about him. Not a very good thing.

“Where are you going?” he asked as I flitted back around.

“Nowhere if you don’t want me to, Sire,” I replied, bowing my head.

“Saying it like that makes me feel bad,” he whined, and I noticed he had yet to let go of my arm. “I was thinking that I could probably get Liam to come if I told my parents that I wanted to marry Hebe…”

“Ok,” my heart was already in shreds on the floor, so this affected me a lot less than I expected. “Does Hebe know?”

“Well she told me that’s the real reason her father sent her here,” he replied, “and she said she’d be ok with it.”

“Ok, so go tell your parents, Sire, I’ll wait outside for you,” I replied, and then frowned when he frowned.

“But Thaddeus,” he whined, “I don’t want to go without you.”

“Huh?” I mumbled, but he had already pulled me through the door. I hated the King and Queen; have I mentioned that? They sat in their throne seats, pruning themselves and yelling at all the servants, more like slaves, to do everything and anything that they wanted. They stopped with their orders when we entered the room.

“Didn’t we already tell you that Liam is a criminal and our property, so you can’t—Oh joy, you’ve brought in that filthy servant of yours,” the Queen said sarcastically. I ignored her and glanced around the room, searching for Liam. I finally spotted a tall and skinny boy with sun-kissed blonde hair and empty green eyes. I tried to wave at him, but Erastus immediately pulled my arm back down and glared at his mother. I bowed deeply in the King and Queen’s presence.

“He isn’t filthy,” he hissed. I smiled at how sweet he was. It made two of the pieces of my broken heart rejoin. “And I came here to make an announcement,” I could hear him swallow, and then the words flowed smoothly from his mouth, “I’d like to get married to Hebe.”

“And why didn’t you bring her here with you instead of this filth?” King Harold asked. I held in a snarl.

“She’s busy right now. But as soon as I get married, I get control of the kingdom, right?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“That’s right,” the King replied.

“This is glorious!” the Queen cheered. “Let us celebrate! We shall tell everyone! I shall have the invitations made, and the wedding shall be in a week. Tell Hebe—I mean, your fiancée that your wedding is in a week.”

I frowned and Erastus pulled me out of the room. He grabbed Liam as well and then pulled us to the door outside the servant’s quarters.

“U-um, Your Majesty,” Liam struggled out, shaking in a way very much like Lysander had when he first met Erastus. “Do you need me for something?”

“There’s something I want you to tell me,” Erastus said. I looked around for Lysander or Claude; neither was around. I sighed as Erastus asked what he needed to ask, “Do you have a little brother?”

“Sure, I have two,” Liam replied, “but Your Majesty, what does this have to do with—?”

Erastus interrupted him loudly, “What are their names!?”

“Your Majesty what does this—?”

“What are their names!?” he repeated.

Liam swallowed hard, “Lysander and Claude.”

“Ohemgee!” he gasped. He turned on me. “Is that the little one’s name?” he asked.
I nodded, “Yes, Sire.”

Liam gasped, “What? My little brothers…Where are they?” He was looking straight at me, and I shrugged. Before I finished with my shrug, though, Liam had a small boy in his arms and another staring at him through tears.

Lysander gasped, following Claude’s example and throwing himself on his older brother. “Where’s...our brother?” the frail 13 year old asked.

Liam looked sick. “I…Do you think we can sit down so I can explain this? I'm Liam, by the way.” I wondered for a moment why, if his brothers recognized him so instantly, he had to tell them his name. Lysander pulled away from Liam and pulled him into the servant’s quarters. Did I mention this place was for the Prince’s servants only? That was probably why Liam and his brothers hadn’t seen each other yet. Erastus and I followed them inside the little shack that some of us servants lived in, and we sat on my bed while Liam settled in to Lysander’s bed. Claude sat in Liam’s lap, and snuggled close to him. Lysander sat next to Liam, leaning on his shoulder.

“So where’s Alpheus?” Lysander asked. Liam once again had that sick look, like he was going to throw up on all of us.

“He’s…Dead, Lys,” Liam choked out.

“What?” Lysander muttered. He didn’t seem like he believed it. “No…No! Didn’t he promise you he’d never leave you?”

Those two pieces of my heart that had come back together fell apart as I watched Lysander start to sob. Claude looked confused, but seemed to get the gist of it.

“Alfy is gone?” he asked, leaning up from Liam’s chest and looking straight in his eyes.

Liam turned his head away but said, “Yeah, Claude. He’s gone.”

Claude started sobbing at the confirmation and buried his face in Liam’s chest again.
“But you two are—were identical twins,” Lysander said, he still seemed to be in denial. I finally understood his confusion on the sight of Liam: this Alpheus person was his twin. His identical twin. How heartbreaking. “How could he have died?”
“Well…When we were captured we were thrown into a prison cell. They barely fed us and the water was dirty, but we were together, so it was ok,” he murmured softly. I could tell by the inflection of his voice and the look in his eyes that Alpheus must have meant a lot to him. “And then the King and Queen caught word of what we had done and summoned us to be brought to the castle. They bargained with us to let us live as long as we promised to be their servants for life. So we promised…We weren’t stupid…And we didn’t want to be separated. But one day the cook accused us of stealing from the castle’s food supply and we were summoned to see the King and Queen again.” I gasped, knowing well what the punishment for stealing was. I looked over at Erastus, who was somewhere between scared lifeless and depressed. Either way he was extremely pale, much more so than normal.

Liam continued his tale, “But in actuality, neither of us had eaten much of anything in over a week because that same cook was eating all of our shares…The only two meals we had gotten, I had given to him. Therefore, when they told us that you get 40 lashes for it we both knew I would never make it through, having not eaten in so long, but I knew that he wouldn’t either. We tried to explain that we didn’t do it, but the Royal Majesties,” he said the words with very noticeable contempt. I glanced at Erastus, who had given way to crying silently. I slid closer to him and continued listening to Liam’s story, “wouldn’t listen. So then, Al said that it was only he who stole from the kitchen. I saw the damn cook’s face fall, but their Royal Majesties believed him, and I had to watch as they whipped him. He cried out in pain each time…It was torture! And all I could do was watch, because they were holding my arms back…I couldn’t stop crying as it happened, but I had to hide that from everyone else in the room. They would have punished me too, and all Al did would have gone to waste. They just left after they finished, and Al was just lying there on the ground. I ran over to him, and looked at his bloody mess of a back. He groaned at me, and I hugged him. I could feel him shaking, and I had watched him sob as they whipped him, and then he pushed me back.

“‘When you see Lysander and Claude tell them that I love them, will you?’ He asked of me as I began to sob,” I noticed, though, his severe lack of tears at the moment even though both of his little brother’s eyes were overflowing with them. “And then…Well, I…”

“Just tell the rest,” Erastus choked out.

Liam glared, barely visibly, at him and continued, “Yes, Your Majesty.” He said, the same contempt showing up. He sighed deeply and continued his story, “And then he said, ‘I love you Liam, and I always will. Please never forget me…Please don’t cry, I’ll always…You know…be with you…at heart…And all that ridiculous…Mushy stuff…’ And he leaned up and kissed me on the cheek before he fell back down, and I whispered that I loved him too. He smiled and gave one last squeeze to my hand before going limp. I wasn’t stupid, so I checked for a pulse…And since he didn’t have one I began sobbing uncontrollably, but then I remembered what he had said, and wiped away my tears.”

“Oh…my god,” Erastus muttered, crying almost as much as Lysander and Claude. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. I patted his hand, and he grabbed mine and squeezed it.

“How can you even say that!?” Liam roared. Lysander grabbed his hand and squeezed it, shaking his head in his disapproval at Liam’s anger. Liam sighed and explained, in a low but somehow chilling voice, “Look, Your Majesty, it’s just…Alpheus was my life. He was all I had left. And then because of your parents, he was taken from me…Look at the suffering they’ve caused…! Are…Are you crying Your Majesty?” he asked.

Erastus sniffled and wiped away his tears, “Will it help if I admit it?”

“Well, it’ll help others if when you become King you do something about all the suffering,” Liam replied, his arms around his two younger brothers.

“Yes, that’s why I have to marry Hebe,” Erastus replied. The little pieces of my heart were put through a shredder. When they came out, they were alone and confused…I suppose Liam must have felt that way after Alpheus died, too. I had no inkling of how that felt, because I’d always had someone with me. Before I had Erastus, I had my parents. They weren’t anything special, but they were there, and they loved me. That was all that mattered to me…As long as I had someone who I loved, who cared about me in return I was ok. But that feeling…The way Liam must have felt every day since Alpheus’ death…I squeezed Erastus’ hand at the thought, happy he was by my side.

“Well I’ll be glad if you think you can save this hellhole of a kingdom, excuse my language, Majesty, but I can’t take this anymore,” Liam muttered, as his siblings drifted off to sleep in his arms. He seemed to be a bit bolder than his brother was. I didn’t really mind, and it appeared Erastus didn’t either.

“Please, you don’t need to always call me ‘your majesty’ and ‘sire’,” he looked at me, and then looked directly in my eyes. “If I’m going to become King soon anyway, call me Erastus. My kingdom, my rules.” He insisted. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking from the look on his face, but the tearstains probably made it look more desperate than it was. Turning to Liam, he hoped for approval from him as well. I guess he knew he had my approval.

“All right,” Liam agreed. He gave Erastus the first smile I’d seen, and then a tear streaked down his face. Followed by another…And another. Before I knew it, he was sobbing silently.

“Liam…,” I mumbled, and he looked up at me.

“I d-didn’t catch y-your name,” he struggled out.

“It’s Thaddeus, Thaddeus Kavanagh,” I introduced myself, and he attempted to raise his hand to shake mine, but it was too shaky for him to manage.

“I’m Liam Melbourne,” he replied, then let his head fall and continued to cry quietly. I stood up and walked out of the room, pulling Erastus with me. I figured Liam wanted to be alone at this bittersweet moment. A reunion and the recollection of the most painful moment in his life, I mean.

Hebe, who sighed in an almost depressed way, met us outside. “So we’re engaged now, huh?” she asked Erastus, and he nodded. “Were you crying, Prince?”

“Yeah,” Erastus admitted.

“Was it because of that boy’s story?” she asked. It finally dawned me that she must have been listening to Liam’s story. Erastus nodded, and Hebe frowned. “Then we really do need to get married as soon as possible,” she mumbled, “so then maybe this rotten kingdom can become a thriving wonderland.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

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The next week went by fast; I was running here and there and doing many things for both Hebe and Erastus. Liam had switched over to being Erastus’ servant, and just like how Lysander wouldn’t let Claude out of his sight, Liam wouldn’t let either of his little brothers out of his sight. I later asked him how old he was, out of curiosity, and he was actually older than I was. I was 16, and he was 17. (Oh, Hebe was 17 and Erastus was 19, btw…Er, by the way) The only parts I can pick from my brain and separate from everything else are the times that I was pulled off to the side by Hebe and later by Liam.

“You know, Thaddeus,” Hebe said, sighing and sitting down next to me. I had been yanked aside by her and we were sitting inside a shed on the royal grounds. A stream of light shafted in, but otherwise it was considerably dark. “I’ve been wondering something…”

I realized she was waiting for me to confirm that she could ask the questions, so I said, “Yes, Lady Effel?”

“Are you in love with Prince Erastus?” she asked. It sounded like pure curiosity, but I couldn’t know for sure.

I also couldn’t keep myself from blushing as I replied, “Why do you ask?”

“Because, I…I just need to know, ok?” she mumbled. Standing up from her slouched position and looking right in my eyes.

“…Yeah, I’m in love with him,” I admitted, “but I can’t help who I love…I never planned on acting on any of my urges!” I held out my hands defensively and then realized she was smiling.

“I thought so,” Hebe mumbled, and ruffled my hair. I hated it when people did that…I straightened out my hair, and we both left the little shack.

“Why did you…?” I mumbled, and she grinned at me.

“I just really wanted to know,” she replied. “Because…Well, you’ll see,” she winked and ran away, and I frowned and walked back to Erastus’ room, where he was picking out what to wear for the wedding.

Later in the week, Liam pulled me aside and said, “Thaddeus, I just wanted to say…Thank you.” I looked at him in a confused way, and he nervously raised his arm to the back of his head, “I mean, for helping me find Lysander and Claude. And for being so understanding about Alpheus.”

“Oh no, I don’t really understand how you feel, it must have been so hard,” I replied.

“See that’s why!” he exclaimed. I had never thought of myself as understanding before. I had never thought of myself as much of anything, truthfully. “But…If it weren’t for you and Miss Hebe, Lys told me he and Claude might not be here anymore. So, um…” he held his hand out to me in an awkward gesture. I grabbed it and shook it, then glanced around before quickly pulling him toward me. I gave him a quick hug and then hastened a hasty retreat. I glanced back at him during my retreat, and he gave me a small smile.

Before I knew it, it was the day of the wedding. I could no longer feel my heart beating in my chest, but I think that was because I chose to ignore it…Anyway, I was in the wedding, much to the King and Queen’s disdain, so I stood and watched Erastus as he fiddled with a bowtie. He couldn’t seem to tie it, so I grabbed his arms and pulled them down, then tied it for him. As soon as I finished I sighed, but didn’t pull down my hands.

“Sire,” I said.

“Erastus,” he corrected. I sighed and shook my head, raising my hand to his cheek.
“Well Erastus, I just hope you’re happy,” I said, and forced a smile. “All I wish for, for you and Miss Effel is happiness.”

“Thaddeus…Thank you,” he replied, grabbing my hand and holding it. My heart started beating again as he held my hand, and I stared up into his eyes. They were so, so beautiful. I must have looked a damn fool at that moment, but I didn’t care. My happy time was interrupted when Erastus pulled away, and I could swear I saw a blush on his face. Lysander barged into the room and twitched his head before bowing deeply.

“My-my apologies, Sire,” he breathed, “but the King and Queen told me that they grow tired of waiting.” He bowed again and left the room, I would guess he collapsed outside the door since he was so out of breath. I failed to notice the odd hint of something strange in his voice.

“So this is it…,” Erastus breathed. “I’m really getting married today…”

“Yeah,” I replied, smiling when Erastus glanced my way.

“I…Guess I should go,” he said. But he didn’t go. He just stood there with his back to me in his room. Suddenly he turned around, and he looked at me with such a serious look that a chill went down my spine. “Thaddeus, you love me, right?” I was shocked. I couldn’t even move as he walked over to me. I was frozen in place. I expected him to hit me or something, but he just stared at me.

“Who-who told you?” I finally struggled out.

“So it’s true then?” Erastus asked. His dork-cheerful face had returned, and I was slightly confused.

“I…I…,” I could feel my face burning and my eyes filling up with tears, and I just wanted to get out of there. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be rejected. No matter how cheerful Erastus looked, this was the day of his wedding. And he had to get married…For the sake of families like Lysander, Liam, and Claude’s.

“Don’t cry Thaddeus,” he said. “I’m sorry, I made you cry!” Frantically pacing around the room, he looked like such a fool. I couldn’t help the smile from appearing on my face. He squished my face and I frowned. “Look, I gave you the wrong idea. I love you too!”

My heart skipped, and I asked, “What?” This was unbelievable. I had to be sure.
He just leaned down to me, and pressed our lips together. I responded by wrapping my arms around him and pulling myself closer to him. It was simply…Amazing. The feeling of his lips pressed against mine, his lithe body pressed up to me, and his warm tongue in my mouth…I could have died at that moment. As we pulled apart, he whispered a sweet, “I love you. Do you love me?”

“I love you,” I admitted, looking into his eyes. He stroked my cheek lovingly, and I sighed contently, leaning my head against his chest. We stood there for a while, until a faint knocking echoed on the door and it clicked open. I jumped away from Erastus, and Lysander looked up at me, having fallen through the door after it was opened.

Hebe stepped over him into the room, and frowned.

“It’s bad luck—” I started, but Erastus shushed me.

“Our wedding’s off,” Hebe stated plainly. “Good thing you’re already King.”

“What?” I hadn’t heard of this. I guess I missed it. Something inside me told me that this event transpired during the time Hebe pulled me aside to talk to me.

“But yours is on,” she said, looking to me. I noted that she clearly wasn’t wearing a wedding dress. In fact, she wasn’t even wearing a dress. She was wearing pants; the big poofy kind Erastus liked to wear. That proved Erastus was King. A girl wearing pants, that is.

“Whose wedding?” I asked cluelessly.

“Yours and King Erastus’ of course, silly,” she said, grazing my arm lightly with a fist.

“But…We’re both…huh?” I asked. At this point, I was officially confused.

“The King there changed the laws as soon as he became King,” Hebe explained, “same-sex marriage is completely allowed now, so get going!”

And so…I married Erastus and now I’m the Queen…Shut up. It’s better than manservant is, if I do say so myself. Since then, Hebe got married…To her best friend, a cute girl name Harriet. Hebe is now the number one adviser for Erastus, a position no woman before her held. The citizens in the kingdom have gotten a lot happier and livelier since Erastus became King, and the senseless violence has ended, not without a few years under the belt. Oh, and speaking of common-folk—Liam helps Hebe; I can see he hasn’t gotten over Alpheus in his eyes, though. I can understand that one, though. He lost the most important person in his life…It must have been tough on him. Lysander and Claude work for us too…They’re older now, cut me some slack. Lysander’s now 19 and Claude is 14. Lysander is head cook; we had that old cook fired in a heartbeat. Claude likes to help people. Erastus is surprisingly ok with letting Hebe and I run the kingdom more than he does, and I never forget to be grateful to him for it. Some of the citizens resent the fact that two men and a woman who has no regard for men’s pigheadedness rule their kingdom. Harriet spends most of her time at the castle as well, and I’ve gotten to know her over the years. She’s a lot more reserved and quiet than Hebe is, but apparently for good reason. Her father treated her like dirt her whole life for being a woman. I hadn’t ever realized how badly women were treated in our society…Anyhow, there are apparently magical beings living in our kingdom as well…Who would have guessed? Like…I don’t know. Mages and wizards and turtles and…Of course, turtles are magical! Shut up. Now I lost my train of thought again.

Oh yeah, I talked to Liam about his brother again…It almost broke my heart just to listen to him talk about it, though. He described losing his twin so painfully that I don’t want to repeat it, but basically, he said he felt as if a part of him had died that day. He told me that he was happy because Alpheus was in his dreams and his heart would run back to him, but then each day when he woke up and realized he was no longer there it felt like his heart was ripped out against its will so it clawed his insides on the way out. According to him, having Lysander and Claude helped ease the pain, but it certainly didn’t eliminate it.

…Was I talking about magic before I got distracted? Oh yes, the charming people I recounted this story for last were magic. There was a good-looking boy and his pallid friend. However, this story has nothing to do with them, so…Well; this story is the only fairytale I care for, actually. It’s My Perfect Fairy Tale…Even if it’s not a real fairy tale. Oh yeah! I was talking about magic, eh? Apparently the previous King and Queen had spent most of the time that I couldn’t figure out what they were doing covering it up, but now they were free to do as they pleased…But hopefully not kill. Oh, and the King and Queen have long since passed away, but we had them thrown in the dungeons first thing after Erastus and I got married. The kingdom reshaped itself, and I found the perfect spot to stay—right in Erastus’ arms. It’s quite comfy there. I still love him with all my heart, by the way. He’s my dorky King…The end.